Anyone else hate their birthday? I literally make my partners birthday so special and go all out and give thoughtful gifts and do cute gestures. It’s never reciprocated. I got a “happy birthday” and literally nothing else.

Doesn’t sound like you hate your birthday…sounds like you hate that your partner doesn’t reciprocate you on your birthday. I think it is worth having a conversation with your partner about showing love to you in ways that are meaningful to you. It sounds like you are speaking your love language to him and honestly, he may not even care that much about his birthday. My husband and I did this a lot early in our marriage. But, if you aren’t being vocal about your needs, you’re not giving him a chance to meet those needs.

I used to hate my birthday for several reasons until I met my husband. Every year he wishes me happy birthday, he also says, “I’m so grateful you’re alive for another year. I couldn’t imagine this past year of my life without you.” I was suicidal for a long time and dreaded the thought of people celebrating my life. Like I really thought it was horrible that I had survived another year. But my husband has changed that for me. We don’t do anything crazy, I just get flowers and gas station cupcakes for my birthday as tradition. But to hear his little speech about how valuable I am, and how important it is for me to make it to each birthday, makes me feel beyond loved. I now look forward to every birthday, because I do have a special role in this world and I’m grateful to have a family that needs me. I better make it to as many birthdays as I can, whether I’m celebrated or not. More birthdays on this earth means more years of loving my daughter and time with my husband.

@ALI I definitely have told him lol and every year nothing changes.

@Tay stop that’s so sweet🥺 that’s all I want! To feel loved and appreciated. Idc about a gift but like give me a massage, clean up the house, let me take a relaxing bath. Literally anything 🙃

It’s because you are relying on one person to make your birthday special for you, don’t do that. I invite my gfs a month in advance for a bday dinner, and they invite me back the same, I get gifts from my friends and we spend an amazing night out eating chatting laughing dancing. What my partner does is just bonus but I’m not relying on him, I’ve made sure my bday will go well for me, and I make a Happy Bday to Me post on IG and anyone who wants to comment can comment 😂 don’t rely on one person to make or break your day- you go out and pamper yourself or book something and if he doesn’t come through that’s okay you prance out of the house and say you’re celebrating your own bday. My single gfs have no one to make their day special so they plan theirs too.

My husband is really bad at gifting, he is trying though but he stress over it and end up giving me bad gift. Whereas mine are always great and thouhtful. This became a joke between us. I just gift myself what I want or he will give me free time and takes care of the kids, best gift he can do. Some people are just bad at it but he could show you appreciation differently

@Kellie I don’t have any friends lol

@Marie🩵🩷💚 literally! I have told him so many times just give me free time to relax or whatever and it still never happens 🙃

That’s okay if you don’t have friends OP. My point is, make the day you want yourself. Don’t ask him to give you your free time - demand it, plan book it schedule it in. Book the massage for 11. Tell him he’s staying home w the babies while you go treat yourself, spend a couple hrs out. Then grab some brunch by yourself, go shopping grab a new outfit or a bag or some new makeup. Snap it post and say “I treated myself for my bday, happy birthday to me!” You come home nice and relaxed from the massage, giddy at the self care stuff you just bought yourself, happy w all the bday comments back to you from your own post. Now if he has dinner plans or a gift, great, that’s a bonus. But the day is already great because you made it great. Do that for yourself. Because you are worth it, you deserve it. Pump up “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus in the car while you’re at it 😉 love and appreciate yourself!!!

@Kellie I get what you’re saying but I don’t want to be alone. If that’s the case I may as well just be a single mom 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yeah but you said above “just give me free time to relax or whatever” they won’t give you that because they don’t know you want that. Ask for it, demand it. Plan, book it, schedule it. Make sure you know on your end it, it’s being done. Is a massage not relaxing? If you rely on one person to come through w it and then he doesn’t, your bdays here on out will be disappointing and miserable. My man takes me out for dinner every year because I’ve told him that’s what I want. As Ali said in her first comment “be vocal about your needs” and then you reply you’ve told him every year and nothing changes. So that’s why I’ve given you the advice I have. So next year it can feel different for yourself without relying on him anymore. “May as well be single” not really. Because then he can see what’s important to you because you’re doing it yourself and then maybe he’ll put in more effort.

I don't get nothing special or treated any different then any other day. My husband has yet to make me feel special on bday, mother's Day or our anniversary since I had my first born.

@Kellie that sounds wonderful.. I wish I could do that but I have no friends to invite, no money to spend, and I can't really get out of house without a kid.