Narcissistic moms anyone?
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Me 🙋♀️ i just cut mine out a couple months ago and i don't regret it one bit. My life has gotten much easier since.
My mother goes through toxic phases. She currently is stuck on being “so busy” she can’t make plans and acting like I am withholding her from seeing her grandkids 🙄 A year ago I literally would try and make plans with her weekly and I just gave up. Started therapy in May and I’ve started setting some real boundaries. She will send texts about missing them and wanting to make plans, and how big they’ve gotten. We live 5 min apart. When she never asks to make plans or anything. She likes to create scenarios in which she is the victim to her friends and that side of the family. Therefore always making me look like the bad guy. And that’s ok. I’m keeping my children away from her mind games and manipulation. I’ve told her send me a text, we’re down the road. Make some plans since she’s “so busy”. She never reaches out.
My mother also says just ask for help when you need it since my eldest was born. On reality when I’ve asked for help when we’ve really needed it she’s helped once. And made a really big deal about how much of an inconvenience it was to her lol so we stopped and found other ways. Try to set healthier boundaries. I stopped asking her for help and my life has been way less stressful.
I don’t even ask for help, because her help comes with so many strings attached, it’s like harder than just trying to figure out things on my own. But she like forces her “help” on me, and she comes over, practically kill’s herself overdoing it trying to “clean” all my stuff, when I’ve explicitly asked her not to, and she just tells me to shut up, and she keeps going until she NEEDS to sit down and then she proceeds to make me feel like shit because she’s busting her ass for me and I’m not grateful enough, and yet I didn’t ask for any of it, and when I told her to stop she wouldn’t listen. And then the fact that she broke her back cleaning my house, makes her feel entitled to yell at me and my partner to stop being pigs and we have to do the dishes and unload the laundry NOW. This is in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE which I searched for and rented and fully pay for myself!! AHHHHHHHHH 😵💫😵🥴😭
My mom was not like that when I was kid that I recall but when I was older when they needed help my dad would ask me and if it’s handy work he will ask my boyfriend over my 2/3 brothers that lived at home. Once we finished school and living at home we had to pay rent. My brothers did not pay only I did. My therapist said my mother gave me PTSD and spouse too. I had make dinner 2 days during the week and I had to take care one of little brothers- help with homework and sign his test, feed dinner, etc Also, big fights with my husband she takes his side because he’ll give a show fake crying and lying and manipulating narcissistic gaslighting two face shady cheating whore