Difference in opinion with partner
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@Bec I don't think he appreciates the risks, I am sure he is aware of them but always refers to his firstborn saying what they did and everything was fine. So due to that he maybe thinks there's no reason to be careful I do hope he takes my concerns on board before baby arrives. So much has changed over the years and our baby should not compared to his firstborn, their baby was fine it does not mean that will be the same for ours.
We have some of the same conversations where my partner is a lot less cautious than I am. I got him to read up about the risks to the baby and he's now agreed with me on this. My view is that the safest option is the best, even if it could be over the top. We're planning no visitors for 2 weeks then only visiting when people are well and no kissing until after vaccinations
Men are more visual show him pics of poorly babies as awful as it is. It's important no one but you and him kiss your baby. It's for your babies health x
@Annabel that is great he now agrees, did you read any specific or information on Google? That is exactly what I believe, I would never forgive myself if we were too relaxed and baby got sick.
@Leanne I agree, their health and safety is priority. It does not matter what family want to do it is our baby and our rules go, we just need to agree on them
I just asked him to Google why should we wait 2 weeks for visitors and effects of RSV. I think his main worry was our families being funny about it but I had to remind him that we will have a much bigger priority to worry about
Going off on a tangent about health and safety be careful around family choosing and buying car seats as well. Had to have an awkward convo about a purchased car seat that I didn't want my daughter going in (she's 11m)
Ah yes, survivors bias is a real thing, ‘if nothing has gone wrong before, then why would it now?’ kind of mindset. We found that our parents would tell us lots about things they did with us as children, that aren’t considered safe now - it’s hard to get it into peoples’ heads how times have changed! I’d stress how you’d rather be ‘over the top’ than less cautious and have your baby get poorly, better to be safe than sorry after all!
I’d say try to understand each other and come to an agreement that you’re both happy with. I am naturally more overprotective than my husband, but I came to understand that partly is my own anxiety, and by not compromising I was perpetuating it. I think no kisses near the mouth/nose/eyes is a valid suggestion. I think people that are unwell not holding the baby is reasonable as well. If it’s important to him to let everyone who wishes to and feels well hold the baby, I don’t think there’s harm? But again this is very personal.
I think it’s normal to have a difference in opinions on certain things and it can cause tension. The important thing is to make sure both of your views are heard and validated. Rather than persuading one person to come to the other persons view.. it’s about compromising and sharing information, concerns or worries. A lot of it is anxiety and some men have the ability to zoom out slightly and have a more rational perspective
Hiya! Does he know exactly why you feel this way? When we had our first, I realised that my husband wasn’t as well educated in terms of the dangers of RSV etc in newborns until I told him/showed him articles on it. Once he knew more about it, he agreed with me on the no kissing rule too! It might be that he doesn’t realise how dangerous illnesses can be for tiny babies maybe?