Grandparents and childcare expectations

Just wanted to see different views about this question. We live very far from family and have done all the parenting on our own. It has been exhausting and childcare so unaffordable that we know we can never have another child. We do dream about "oh wouldn't it be wonderful if we had some help, even if it was just on an evening so we can have a meal together on our anniversary without interruption" as we can't even afford babysitters. Sometimes when we have family over visiting or go visit them on occasion and for example my mil refuses to even watch my child for a couple of hours so we can have a break. They say they never had any help and they are not nannies but I for one lived with my grandmother until I was two years old and they looked after me full time. Yet my mum still tells me she never had any help? I don't live near family so I can't benefit from help but I have read lots of articles that boomers are angry about being asked to help with childcare when they themselves probably had help back in the day and it was more of a choice if both parents needed to work then, whereas now it is not a choice due to house prices...? Not sure what I want to ask but I'm just confused boomers seem to want to help with childcare less than the previous generation? Or is it just my own family!?!

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I think it really depends on the family. My mum would regularly come and watch my little one for a few hours and then when I went back to work part time she dropped her hours at work so she could have him for a day a week. Sorry your experience with family helping out has been crap! I definitely read a lot of people with similar experiences to you, but there are also lots of helpful families out there.

How old is your baby now? I spent all of my childhood at my grandma's while my mum worked in the city so when we were expecting we asked my MIL if she would want to look after her for a week when she's older w/e (not even an actual plan btw just throwing the idea out) she immediately said she had holiday booked, had to work and wasn't going to look after our baby so me and dad could have a holiday? Took me back a little because I didn't even say when but apparently she's already got a holiday booked 🤣

I was brought up by my grandparents and aunties/uncles. My mum now lives with me and looks after my LG when she isn't in nursery. It takes a village

Thanks @Tess for your message, I'm just glad I didn't have to make a major decision like move closer to family and then get disappointed! I'm lucky they are far away so I don't get too annoyed!

@Gemma he is two now but I remember asking my mum and mil to look after him just for an hour or two and the answer was no! I just don't get it, they are just the can't be bothered generation. I should have known never to ask them for anything!

@Leonie that so nice, I guess there are some nice grandparents out there who actually want to help rather than say they want to spend time with the grandkids only if they had nothing else to do and if they had to lift a finger then they are out the door on a cruise or something

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