Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to go to an inlaws family event again next weekend?

So we are going to a family get together tomorrow (this weekend) with my hubby's family (one side) and then my mother in law tells me next week she will host another gathering with her side (who I don't really like being around and it gives me severe anxiety) always having my son compared to my husband's cousins son by his aunty/cousin (my son is "quiet/easy" while hers is more "challenging" and "oh she has it tough" etc with two kids and it's easier for me apparently. Sounds innocent but irks me as my son is not quiet or easy) just downplays my experience and they love to brag about their wealth /spendings cause my in laws are cheap compared to them, and his uncle has some kind of superiority complex where he has in the past said uncomfortable things or tried to emasculate my husband (hubby doesn't care but it's incredibly uncomfortable for me to sit and listen and nod and be civil). I immediately told my MIL that oh no I'm probably going to want to do something with friends (which I know isn't true but I've asked friends anyway just in case lol). I know I'll have to face them again one day but it's so hard when I make it a goal to try to slowly cut off or at least distance myself from some toxic people or people who make me uncomfortable when i have to. I feel like I have no control. I have trouble setting boundaries / distancing myself because they always play assertive and ask me is something wrong? Why? Etc etc. And I don't wanna create drama out of nothing so I just stick to my excuses or make them sound more convincing just to avoid. I can't keep doing this and I tried getting counselling for myself but it's so expensive now and idk what to do. Sitting down as my mental health continues to deteriorate. Idk how some people do it??

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No is a full sentence. you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. you don’t want to go and it’s simple as that. i am the same way with my fiancés side. there’s times where i don’t even want to go but then i kind of feel guilt tripped into going. but i told myself this year im standing my ground and not going if i don’t want too. and even better, im not explaining myself. my MIL also lives 1.5 hours away and im tired of making that trip. they rarely come out here. we have a 2 year old and a 4 month old, they should be coming to us

That sounds hard - yes I felt like that too where they were rarely coming out and I brought it up. I can't complain much now though cause my mil and Sil came to see my son after his surgery

don’t get me wrong i love my mil but the efforts isn’t there. it’s always “i miss you guys” but never followed up

@Kailani omg that's literally how it is with us sometimes especially before my son's surgery they hadn't come for ages and it was "we miss you when will we see you" like uhm when yall decide to come over, so it was a nice surprise to see my Sil take a day off work for my son's surgery day

@Kailani same!! My in-laws will always yammer about how they miss my daughter (usually on Facebook, very rarely ever privately, which irks me even more)...but it's like pulling teeth to get them to make any kind of effort. I've basically stopped even asking, because I know how it's gonna be. Basically, if it doesn't involve us coming to them and things going their way, they don't actually have a whole lot of interest in seeing us. But there they are, yammering on Facebook. It drives me insane.

@Sarah soooo they can do it online but not privately? that makes no sense at all. it’s like they want some type of attention or something

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