fiancé pressuring me into another child

Or maybe he wants more kids and doesn't want you to get an abortion. The thing I notice mostly in women is we lead with feelings so if a man expresses something a lot and we don't want or feel slight negative emotions about we label the man as doing something like manipulation, gaslighting or ect. My point is of you already see yourself being with him for rest of your life you can still have the kid and get married later all this really needs is conversation between you two and a compromise on what you both find to be important so either one of you don't feel pressured into something you don't want.

Wait, are you saying you’re considering aborting your baby because you’re not married?? Sorry but this sounds really manipulative. It’s like you’re holding it against him and basically saying “if you don’t put a ring on it, I’m going to end your baby’s life.” That’s what im hearing but may be misconstruing this. Please tell me I’m wrong. A human life is more important than a stupid piece of paper. You can get married any time you want but you won’t get that exact baby back once he/she is gone

He is not “pressuring you into another child”. You are already pregnant. You are pregnant because of your own actions. I think that if you aren’t practising safe sex and you end up pregnant, then aborting because you’re not married is a ridiculous reason. You should’ve taken correct precautions in the first place. I think it’s emotional abuse to not protect yourself, get pregnant, and then want to abort (knowing your partner would love to have another).. If there were medical, mental or financial reasons then yes, understood. But because there is no piece of paper saying you are married then this justifies having an abortion? Absolutely absurd. BUT at the end of the day it’s your body your choice and this is only my opinion. I kinda feel sorry for your partner though.

If he never marries you will you keep aborting if you get pregnant? I think marriage is a ring and a bit of paper yous already have a child and committed as life partner’s. Although you want marriage he may not. A child’s life shouldn’t be ended because of a bit of paper. If you’re not ending the relationship over not being married then why end a pregnancy?

@Montana were engaged so it’s not about a physical ring. I have had one, a beautiful one for two years now. it’s about the meaning of marriage and becoming one. also, I have minimal help from him when it comes to being a parent. I love being a mommy but it gets overwhelming when i’m doing it alone. I don’t think I can manage 2 on my own and i’ve expressed this to him

@Hayley I would end the relationship.

@Terra thank you so much for this response!

I think abortion is such a personal decision that only you can make for yourself. If you don't want a kid, why force yourself to endure a pregnancy that you don't want to continue? I've been there. Shits hard af. I was depressed the entire pregnancy and didn't bond until after giving birth and even that took me 8 weeks to start feeling a bond.

I think that if you’re in the situation where you have to abort a child if not married and that doesn’t change him wanting to get married right now then maybe that answers what your relationship looks like. I don’t think it’s an important part of life especially when you already have a child together but your beliefs and desires are your own. Maybe yous need to have a proper sit down serious conversation about what your future holds as someone is going to get their way whatever the outcome

I think your negative approach is going to have more of an affect on your relationship and the marriage subject will now be a negative one also more so by the way it's all been mentioned. If his proposed then why couldn't you have got married before this baby Is born? That could have been a compromise had you approached it differently maybe and turned out more exciting and positive. I don't believe this is a reason to abort, you already had a child out of "wedlock" so it doesn't make sense really wether you regret that decision or not it's done now. If anything you will push him away and end up splitting up then your fairytale "perfect" how it's meant to be in your head won't be that way. There's no perfect scenario things happen. Stop worrying about how things look and what other people think and go with the flow and let it be how it's meant to be. Pressuring him into something or blackmailing him to end the child's life isn't the way to do it. He will end up resenting you for your reasoning more so