Lazy mum

I feel so lazy sometimes when I see other mums. I know you shouldn't compare yourself but I just don't understand sometimes how other mums do it. I don't understand how they can have a job (I'm a SAHM), still go to playgroups or days out, still do their hair and nails and makeup. How do you have time? I'm really struggling. I feel like I'm just surviving at this point, I'm doing everything but it feels like nothing. I do all the housework, I take care of baby all day but I always look a mess and the most we do is a walk to the park or a supermarket. I used to get my nails done but I stopped going because I was embarrassed with how I looked and it felt pointless having my nails done when I don't even go anywhere, do anything and the rest of me is literally pulled together in 5 minutes. I wear the same 3 or 4 outfits, which are just oversized, easy to throw on and leave. I don't remember the last time I had my hair professionally cut or coloured. Before pregnancy for sure anyways. I just feel ugly and lazy. I try to take my baby out every day, but like I said it never gets more exciting than park/supermarket. We go to playgroup once or twice a week but otherwise I struggle to feel motivated to do anything. Softplays, farms or other days out feel difficult because I'm always rushing, have to drive to places I'm unfamiliar, my husband can't come because he works so much. Then I feel bad when I see women I know who work full time still able to take their babies to do these things. Ugh, I'm just having a bad self esteem day. I'm really struggling.

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Take heart, you are doing a great job!!

The mums you see are the minority! The mums like you are the majority, we just don’t show off our lifestyle because reality is nobody wants to see me in my fiancés oversized jumper for the third day in a row, with unwashed hair and no makeup 😂 When I walk into a playgroup 1 day a week with my hair and makeup done, and it probably looks like I’ve got my shit together, but it’s because it’s the one day my fiancé has off work and he’s watched the kids while I’ve gotten ready. The other 6 days I am the complete opposite

Oh hun, please give yourself a break!! Nobody can do it all, and remember that you only see one side and the things that other mums are doing, not the things they feel they aren’t! Just because it looks like someone has their shit together, it doesn’t mean they do. I’m 29 weeks pregnant and work full time so motivation definitely isn’t my strong suit right now. However one thing I will say is that I find working full time easier than being a SAHM - I really struggled with maternity leave. Being a SAHM is absolutely exhausting so such hard work so please give yourself credit. The only reason my hair and makeup is done is because I do it before I head off for work. That’s also the only reason I’m not in leggings and a massive jumper every day (despite the fact I want to be) 🤣

Don't believe everything you see. You don't really know what happens in those moms' homes. Maybe they seem very happy and joyful but actually they hide sadness and loneliness. Or it can be that their babies are at nursery all day and the teachers are those that look after them. It's not your situation that you stay with your baby. Besides with this ugly weather there is not much to do outside, so all SAHM are the same like you: a short walk then stay home the whole day, do the house chores. I'm in the same boat. And I feel ugly, tired and isolated and bad like you.

Just remember people only usually post about the good stuff - I probably do my hair and make up like once a week if that and only if I’m going out and seeing people so they assume I’ve got my shit together, 90% of the time I’m a mess 😂 no make up, hair not done and just a general mess! One thing someone reminded me was that my baby doesn’t care what I look like or where we go, she’s just happy to be together and I’m embracing that until she’s old enough to want to do specific things. Park and supermarket are our favourite things to do at the moment ☺️ You’re doing a good job - try not to compare to what others are doing - you are doing more than enough ❤️ xx

Being a SAHM is hard! Because I work (I do 3 days 8am-6.30pm) I feel guilty for the time I’m not with them and make sure I have a plan for the days I’m with them. It’s not that I’m organised or have it together. It is usually the same thing every week, my house is chaos and the chores are piling up but that’s not seen. Self care is minimal and hair and makeup only gets done for work

If you’d seen me on Saturday, you’d probably think I was one of these mams but in reality I made an effort so I could take a new passport pic and the rest of January I’ve gone for the gorgeous Adam sandler lazy day look! You’re doing your best and every mam clinging on with a toddler gets that! But if you can, try and do something to treat yourself because parenting can be haaarrrrd sometimes and you deserve a break too xx

Hello! 👋🏻 working Mum here! First of all you are doing an amazing job Mum. Doing this full time is the hardest job in the world. Theres a reason us working Mums are sometimes able to fit more things in and thats because we get to switch our Mum brains off throughout the week, and thats helps reset time with baby. I work 4 days a week so Fridays are my solo Mum day where we do swimming or forest school. Saturday and Sunday we tend to do family trips or I’ll prioritise time to get my nails/hair done. Me and my husband share the house work equally in the evenings and weekends. It’s not spotless, but something has to give and for our own mental health it’s that! Your Monday-Friday job is being the carer for your baby, not a cleaner. Thats a HUGE task so focus on structuring your week around doing nice Mum/child activities indoors and outdoors. Then in the evenings and weeks share the house responsibilities with your husband ❤️

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