What would you do?

Hi mums so this is basically just a rant about my BD we have a court order in place that our little girl alternates her birthday and Christmas with myself and her dad, her dad does absolutely nothing for her I do all the leg work Monday to Friday and weekends not to mention, gymnastics, dance and swimming lessons, he gives me £30 a week this doesn’t even cover gas and electricity 😔 he has her one weekend a month and now wants to change the times and says he wants it in writing and I said yes that’s fine but can I have in writing I have every Christmas and her birthday with me, he can have her Boxing Day and the day after her birthday or any days before I just can’t imagine not seeing her face on these special occasions 😢 she will be 4 on her next birthday and we have planned to go abroad which he agree’d to, he is now saying no to this I have already paid for the holiday I feel like crying she was so excited for It, has anyone else experienced this? My heart is breaking 💔💔💔
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For the last 4 years have you been trading off holidays and birthdays. Trying to take every single one is greedy. I get that he’s not contributing money, but it’s about the kid not the money. I think he’s being unreasonable about the trip because you’re attempting to change the birthdays and holidays. I think you should look into a mediator.

I would take her on the holiday anyways and tell him no to changing things in writing personally. A schedule change is fine but why in writing... I'd say no to that part. Unless he did agree but we both know he wouldn't. I totally understand where you are coming from. My ex tries that shit w me and his other childs mom as well. Never hardly spends time but wants to bank on holidays and say he deserves it. We have no court agreement yet. They do and she just doesn't follow it.

@Jessica no I have always had her, but maybe if we alternate shared care it would feel fair but he doesn’t help me atall, the money is just an example, unfortunately he does this a lot when he can’t get his own way and it can be over minor things would you still get a mediator with a court order because that would be great I’m 5 months pregnant and sooo tired would be great if he could help more ❤️❤️❤️

Do you have it in writing anywhere? Text message etc?? If so just highlight this to him and say you have agreed to this on this date and therefore she will be coming on the holiday as agreed by you. If he wants to take you to court for it then he can crack on as you will have evidence of his acceptance

@Kathryn yes I have it in writing thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

All I would say is if, he doesn’t want to offer you the option for Christmas Day and her birthday perhaps try another tactic, ask if she can at least stay at your house and you drop her off at say 11am on those days and pick her up the day after? That way you’ll still be able to see her on those days at least?

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