Was I an a-hole?
Back story - I’m pregnant with second and they have talipes of the left foot apparently, and with that comes risk of other chromosomal issues, but my screening tests etc were low
I’m really quite stressed about it and would like a NIPT blood test to check. My husband said no because he says I spend too much money and as principle, no.
I’m really pissed at this as it’s a significant thing and not something to just use as a lesson for me ? I’m annoyed he’s just not on the same page as me and just wants to constantly teach me lessons or something. Not now, please.
It escalated into an argument and I ended up saying it’s very imbalanced at the moment, he gives me ‘constructive’ criticism ALOT more than doing anything you’d expect in a loving relationship. He flips it and says you’re the one who doesn’t stay up when our son is sleeping blah blah. And I don’t, I’m pregnant and I’ve struggled the whole pregnancy. So it’s my fault. But I then say ‘but who would want to spend time with someone who constantly criticises them?’ And he got so upset and angry at me he walked off saying it was a horrible thing to say.
Was I a complete asshole? I didn’t mean to upset him and I will apologise, was it really out of line
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Icky that he is ignoring you and your child’s health to teach you a lesson. I don’t think what you said was that bad tbqh the sentiment Is valid it could probably just have been said better
🚩 He isn't considering the baby's health nor yours. I personally would just hey it (and yes that will open something else. But here is not a time for finances and when brought up just say how anout we start working on our finaces together. What are our goals and what we value). I would get it and get on a payment plan for it if that is needed.
A medical test isn’t being frivolous with money - you’re not going and blowing a few hundred at lululemon. That’s absolutely unhinged that he picked an argument over that…
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Sounds really odd he is using finances as an excuse not to get the test when it should really be about the health of your baby? Is he not bothered about finding out? If he isn’t bothered and will love and support your baby without a doubt in his mind then you need to both be on that page because it’s a hugely important decision to make when you boil it down, no one likes it, no one ever wants to be in that place, but ultimately it’s something that’s pretty huge. It seems like the arguement was creating thereafter with bickering though which is sooooo easy when you’re tired and have small children, I don’t think it would have gotten that out of hand if you weren’t both shattered and both need a bit of a break really but ultimately it’s started with a monumental thing that needs to be resolved… the rest should just be an apology and put down to exhaustion xx