What would you do in this situation? Am I being unreasonable?

My friend who I’ve been friends with since we were 18 (we are 24 now) are falling out. I’ve had a baby and I don’t feel like she makes any effort anymore. She was invited to my baby shower, didn’t come, she was invited to my son’s christening, didn’t come, and for both she told me she wasn’t coming late notice. I’ve travelled to see her (she only lives 20 minutes down the road) twice so she could see my son. And in the 8 months I’ve been on mat leave she’s not made the effort to see me once, she has cancelled twice recently when it was her time to come to my house, and when she cancelled she said about arranging it a few days later to meet at the Costa that’s walking distance to her. She doesn’t drive I do get that is an issue, but there’s is a bus that goes directly from her to me, that costs £3 return. Am I being unreasonable? I just feel like I’m the one with a baby that’s already travelled to see her and she’s never returned the favour and for me to leave the house is 10x harder than it is for her.

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This always happens with childless friends

You've made a conscious effort to keep in contact with her and invite her to things ect, there's only so much someone can handle being cancelled on before you just have to take a step back. I would check in and ask how she is if there's anything going on, and just to let her know you're always there for her when she's ready to actually meet up, but I'd definitely have a conversation with her to see if there's anything going on.

I agree with checking in on her, but I wouldn't break your back to keep things going, leave the ball in her court. Is it possible she is jealous of you and your baby? Does she have a partner? Does she want a baby but can't? X

This is not uncommon the amount of so called ‘friends’ who don’t bother with me since I’ve had children

I got this with my friend of over 10years but once she had her own baby, she apologised as she started to understand.

@Sam this. I never understand why things change when people have children. I guess they think we won't be readily available anymore or something idk, but I've always found it strange. Just shows they've not true friends anyway.

I agree with just leave the ball in her court. Maybe she'll come around, maybe she won't.

Childless friends are so irritating. I’ve cut most of mine off. It difficult having a small baby physically and mentally and they don’t understand that you have to prioritise the child above anything else .

I don't wanna day that all childless people are like this, as I have a coupe of childless friends and they have made the effort with me and my baby, however they are significantly older than your friend, which in terms of maturity makes a big difference. However, she sounds like a shit friend, so tbh I'd be leaving it at this point. Don't contact her to make plans, wait for her to contact you. If she does contact you and sets a date/time then cancels, bin her off.

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