When/ how to tell partners parents we don’t want them at the hospital…?

I think it’s worth weighing up if you’d rather have an uncomfortable conversation now and set your expectations early on or leave it till your further along and more likely to give in because your tired and heavily pregnant. I honestly could think of nothing worse than having visitors in the hospital! Even my husband was doing my head in at points haha. Thankfully our daughter was born when restrictions were in place and then our son was born in emergency circumstances so I’ve never had to have that conversation but I think your absolutely right to push for whatever makes you feel most comfortable. You don’t owe anyone one of the most special moments of your life regardless of what they have offered to buy. Honestly the sooner the better and I’d start with speaking to your husband and just say look I want to start making my birth plan and go from there. The sooner you make it concrete with him the sooner you can have the conversation with the in laws with his support x

Firstly - you’re not a horrible person. From what you’re saying your partner’s parents are not very good at boundaries and are emotionally manipulating you to reveal things you’re not happy to (like the baby’s gender). Given this, it’s not a surprise that you don’t want them at the hospital: your birth needs to be a calm, safe environment and if their presence makes it stressful it’s your right to say you don’t want them there. Trust your gut. Of course how you deliver the news is a different story. It’s really positive that your partner is supportive. Whichever way you choose focus on your needs and boundaries - emphasise that you only want your partner and mum there as this would feel right for your birth and you will see more people when you’re ready. It’s really sad/ annoying that other people think that a baby’s birth involves them too, just because you’re related. Put yourself and baby first, hope it goes well, sending strength!

I feel similar, it will be just myself and my husband in the hospital present at the birth but my mum would like to visit as soon as possible. And I know that it’s not really fair if I let her visit in hospital but not my husband’s parents. After all they are all the grandparents. So I think I’m probably not going to have any visitors in hospital and just wait until we’re home. My sister in law allowed both sets of grandparents to visit on the same day all together so they all met the baby when she was 3 days old at home, as she saw it as the fairest option as of course everyone is so excited and wants a cuddle. It’s hard to tell people you love, and that are part of the family, and who have done so much.. that you don’t want them at the hospital 😬

I’ve heard a lot of peoples stories about this and how they regret not just staying in that newborn bubble and they wish they let people visit later on. This is your birth and your baby so you do whatever you want to do. Unfortunately someone is always going to have something to say or be unhappy about it but that’s their problem. Get your partner to tell his parents by himself and have that conversation with them and also get him to say something when small dogs are bought up (assuming they will be if the gender is anything to go by) You got this mama!🩷

My hospital only allows partner and siblings in, not any other visitors during my time in hospital unless I request it because my partner can be there for whatever reason but you have to get permission. Maybe you could use that as an excuse for the hospital, just say visitors aren’t allowed. Do what’s right for you and your baby, don’t worry about other people’s opinion, the only one that matters is yours 🤍