My husband has a female friend that he talks to all of the time, and they play online games together. I’ve read the messages and it’s all appropriate, but what bothers me is how good their convos are…we don’t talk like that and he’s so..

I’d bring it up in a way that doesn’t focus on that friendship being an issue. Like saying that it reminded you of the quality of conversation you and him used to have, and why does he think that changed?

Hey, I've been through a similar situation and I always doubted myself, turns out they had been having an emotional affair for about a year. I'm not saying yours is, but talk to him, say how your feelings are being hurt and if he's a good guy he'll work through this with you. Lack of communication broke down my relationship. Although it was the worst part of my life, things are so much better now for it, we've worked through our problems and we're still going strong. All hope is not lost 🤞

All I read was female friend and I’m like yeah no 😂

Ain’t no way.

Make sure he knows that having a female friend isn’t the issue here, it’s just that you miss having friendly conversations like that with him. It sounds like you feel that your friendship with him is gone. It can be hard to maintain your friendship with your partner if you’re just going through the motions, or in a roommate phase. My husband has many female friends, many of whom are also my friends and he has conversations like that with them (he gives amazing advice), but he also has conversations like that with me and we prioritize our friendship in the relationship. So maybe talk with him about how you can revive the friendship you used to have.

Been through something similar, it definitely started out friendly but my partner began emotionally cheating as well . When I addressed it , he was very honest about the things we were missing in our relationship and how he wished we could be like that again. I’m still recovering but we had to and still are working toward building our friendship back. Some men find it easier to be that way with someone they don’t share the stresses of the world with , it’s something refreshing at the moment & most times escapism .

Men and women can not just be friends. Either one or both has feelings for one another or something has happened in the past, but to be platonic hmmmm nah not buying it!!

@Melissa not necessarily. My husband and I each have an even gender distribution of lifelong friends and never have any issues. Most of them are couples, many are single. If a man doesn’t have any female friends I just wonder why women don’t like him or why he can’t get along with women. To me, it’s a red flag if a man doesn’t know how to be a friend to women.

this is the age old debate. can men and women really be just friends? i think most men and most women can be and there are obviously different situations where it would be harder or easier but i would hope that not every guy wants to sleep with every girl he’s friends with and vice versa but it’s also unhealthy to assume that your partners only friend of the opposite gender (if that’s the case) is you. friendships are so important, some would argue more so than relationships in a way. i dont think its truly realistic to expect your partner not to have ANY friends of the opposite sex @Melissa

My partner doesn't have any female friends. He's male friends have their partners and we're all friends but he has no female friends. I too have no male friends. @ Mia

hm okay so that sounds more attainable bc the friends have partners and then as a group you’re all friends. when i first pictured it i was thinking you literally have no male friends and he has no female friends which i just don’t see as feasible but it may work in your relationship and that’s what matters i was curious to hear your perspective though. has it always been like that in your relationships or just this partner @Melissa

People use the term friends loosely. I think men and women can be acquaintances due to circumstances like work or school or being his friends partner etc. but that doesn’t make them a “friend.” Actual friends have bonds, go to each others houses, play the role of aunt/uncle to each others kids, know your family, are there at the funerals/birthdays etc. it’s so much deeper than just texting and just doesn’t make sense for a married man to seek out esp with new women when he has a wife and female family members. Boundaries are key.

You’re better than me because there is no way I’d tolerate that. Men do what you allow ultimately.

Woman are usually the ones always saying that a man is a friend lol. I did it myself with my now husband for nearly 12 years I’d say he was just a friend -let him tell the story from his side of the equation I was never his friend lol only in “my mind alone” was he ever my “friend “ 🫠🤦🏾‍♀️let the opportunity present itself ie if that woman ever says she’s ready to take it there with a man , a whole lot of these men would be right down with it 😂🤷🏾‍♀️🥴

@ OP definitely don’t torture yourself reading those texts like you’re helpless. You are the wife, not the other woman. Let your husband know you’re not comfortable. All that complimenting aka flirting is not appropriate. Any energy he’s giving to another woman is being taken away from you. Remember that. He needs to just play his game and tend to his wife. Not getting to know other women. I used to game alot years ago and men definitely use it as dating apps. A lot of those online users live near you.

As a girl gamer who plays online with boys.. i don’t think it’s okay. The only thing we’re messaging about is the game and if it ain’t that Im not replying. My convos go like this ‘you playing’ ‘game time?’ ‘Be on in 15’ and that’s it. Anything more I would feel like I’m being disrespectful to my partner.do they know each other in real life or did this all stem from gaming?

@Mia in my previous relationship he had a female best friend who then declared her love for him while we were together. I also had another one who had a best female friend and ended up getting her pregnant, whilst we were together. To be honest it was my other half who always said to me that the opposite sex can not be friends and I used to disagree, but when I thought about it and remembered what I had experienced and any males I was friends with we had either had a past together or he had always liked me. So made me see that yep it certainly can't work. But as you said @Mia it's what works for the relationship and it definitely works for us. Plus I'm a jealous person, so theres no way on earth my man could be like that with a next woman.

Personally I wouldn't agree with my husband having a female friend especially if there texting alot❌️never seen it end well!

Hmm, so he's being appropriate with her and that's wrong somehow? Guys really can't do right for doing wrong can they lol. He probably talks to her like that BECAUSE he can't talk to her how he talks to you, as then you definitely would be mad lol.