Feeling bad

First off I care for my step daughter and I don’t hate when she comes over it’s just that I have a daughter (her half sis) and honestly I’m just enjoying being a mom . I feel like with sd I’m constantly having to watch my back or what I do in order to keep the peace , be liked, set a “good example” not that I do anything even crazy I just feel like I’m always walking on eggshells. I hate having to switch up our plans to accommodate step daughter when they always change the schedule . For example I have a play date this weekend and now my husband says step daughter might come over . That’s not an issue but if she does come then he’ll expect us to do something together as a family or to do something that would include stepdaughter to “have fun” . It’s constantly issues like that. Then people say what diff would it make if she was with us full time or if she was my bio child , and in my opinion it would be easier because then we could teach the kids that it’s not always about one specific kid . Everyone always tells me I have to consider her feelings and how hard it is to have two homes which I’m not denying but it also is hard when my daughter has to switch up plans to accommodate her sis .

Show your support

People say well since she doesn’t live with us we have to live it up when she’s here but it also sets a bad example that we have to do fun things or take trips in order for sd to want to come over . On the flip side if we do anything fun like the trampoline park when sd isn’t here then we’re also Seen as being unreasonable for doing things when she isn’t here … I know it’s hard for everyone . I guess I’m just venting because I feel like I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to live a life with my daughter . In the same way my daughter deserves to live life too and not just when her sister comes over

You’re not wrong.. I’ve experienced this and I have to say if there’s not a set schedule, your bio daughter’s plans do not need to get cancelled. She matters and her plans shouldn’t have to be sacrificed in situations like this. She didn’t choose this situation. I would, however, make time to do something together AFTER we carry out my daughter’s plans so that it’s fair to everybody. And you can’t exactly help what you do for fun as a family when she’s not there and shouldn’t be concerned about what other ppl think. She has two homes so she gets double the fun. She has fun with her mom and fun with you. Your daughter shouldn’t get to miss it on fun just because her stepsister isn’t there.

@LeKenya thank you . I def try to do things that’s fun for everyone it’s def not easy though. I think their 7 year age gap makes it even more challenging so their interests are so diff

That’s a hard no. “Sorry babe, I already confirmed these plans.” Living life on their schedule because she “might” come over isn’t fair to your kid.

I absolutely agree with everything everyone’s saying. Including you, why should you only get to do fun stuff when she’s round- you don’t want your child growing up thinking she’s the priority as you never do anything unless she’s there. I’d definitely not be cancelling anything we’d already had planned though hell naw. That can be daddy and SD quality time together whilst you two are busy.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌