Need some advice
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Sorry that you’re essentially feeling like you’re having to pick. I’d again be really honest with your mum about how you’re feeling and raise your concerns regardless as to what arguement this may or not cause. Your mum can make the decision she wants to then. Your baby is coming regardless and I’d guess her wedding is more flexible. I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. I think you’re being a good mum trying to put the wellbeing of your baby and yourself first. Your mum should also be considering this and not be putting pressure/stress on you. I’m due 20th July and have a few events scheduled in the summer and I’ve been honest with them that I no idea how my mind and body will react to being a parent so can’t commit. xx
I’ve just said the above to her - almost the exact same words - and the response I got was just ‘cheers’ 🙃😭
I honestly would not waste any sleep on it (and if you’re anything like me you’re probably loosing sleep anyway so don’t need this on top!). This is the one time in your life you need to put the health and wellbeing of you both first xx
@Rachel she will come round!
@Freya or she may not! People can be very stubborn and selfish, even adult mums. That’s where clearly stated boundaries are important. Rachel you and your new baby will have new parent & newborn needs and it’s ok to prioritise those over events planned by family members who do have choice. Does mum have a tendency to put her needs ahead of your own or is this unusual? If it’s a pattern, it will continue just with differing events etc. Setting boundaries now is a good start.
I think I would be thinking the same as you, 3 hours is a lot, especially when you have no idea how you and baby will be at that point. And with all the feeds, nappy changes and giving baby a break from the car, it'll take even longer 🥲 Is there an option to drive halfway with regular stops and have a day/night to yourselves before continuing the next day? It's a tough decision, but ultimately, you have to do what's best for you and baby, regardless of upsetting others xx
The other thing that I thing needs to considered here..... if baby is late, they may not have had their vaccines yet. Exposing baby to a large crowd like that with no immune system and no vaccines could potentially cause them illness.... x
I was just going to mention vaccines, baby may not have had any and would you really want to risk having them around a large group of people like that and risk illness. Absolutely not worth it but another leg to your argument. You're dead right to put you and baby first, if she can't see that well thats her problem
I think you need to just lay it down to her and it might hurt her to be honest but also, what if you go over your due date? It might be even less than an 8 weeks old. I would put it simply. Either she plans it later and it's better for everyone and safer. Or she will chance that you may not be able to make it. Current guidelines I've heard are no more than 2 hours driving under 3 months old. And that's with breaks. You could also ask your midwife for guidance here.