MIL advice

Let’s start with I suffer from anxiety. My LB is 5 and a half months. The first couple of months when LB arrived were tough and my MIL was amazing. She helped with baby etc. LB had really bad wind issues and silent reflux. When my confidence grew, changed bottles, got into our routine etc and found my stride so MIL could just enjoy time with him at my house. She use to feed him but kept doing it wrong. The way he was sitting and the latch. I kept saying however she didn’t change. I stopped letting her feed him however once I feed him, I hand him back for her to spend time with him. They come through and stay over so they get time with him. She’s went to my husband really upset saying I don’t trust her. Also she wants to take him for a few hours regularly. I really don’t want him away from me or the house. My SIL has looked after him twice and she’s great. She listens and follows the routine and feeds him properly. My MIL I don’t trust to do this. Also my MIL is 72 and she can’t carry him upstairs to his bed or walk very far. Up until LB arrived, I had a great relationship with MIL. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. He’s still so young! And I don’t think they can handle him at this age. I’m concerned they may fall or something happens. I’m so upset as I was just getting to a good place with everything and now I feel cornered and like I’m being forced to do something I’m just not comfortable doing. I don’t know what to do. I also feel my anxiety is being used and that I’m being unreasonable. Any advice

Show your support

Your feelings are completely valid and do not be guilt tripped or bullied into doing anything you don’t want to do. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, it’s the last thing you want

You’re not being unreasonable at all! I can’t bare it when family think they’re entitled to have 1:1 time with young children/babies! It’s a flat no, if you have a single doubt about it, go with your gut! Your husband will need to have that conversation with her as that’s probs the best way to not have it damage your relationship? You don’t need extra stress especially if it’s making you feel so anxious. Just take a deep breath and calm yourself when you feel worked up. I’ve made rash/harsh decisions and comments when I’ve been worked up in the moment over the children and it’s hard to come back from!x

Go with your gut. Dont be pushed into doing something you don’t want to do, especially when it comes to the health and safety of your baby. If you don’t stand your ground and God forbid anything happens to your baby whilst in the care of your MIL, you’ll regret not listening to your instincts. As lovely as my MIL is, I unfortunately can’t trust her with my daughter alone, as much as I would love to. My MIL bangs on about so many things that I disagree with, like saying i should give my daughter biscuits and tea (this was at 4 months). However I had no reason to suspect my MIL would go against my words at the time. My daughter was 100% fine then one day i left her with my MIL for a couple hours. My daughter has had major gut issues since (including a trip to the hospital). Could just be an unfortunate coincidence but Ive never left her with her since.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌