Worry about what strangers think - help
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So my step son is nearly 6, my first child is 2 1/2 .. step son was 2 when I first met him and I fell pregnant 8 months after that… so there’s 3 1/2 years between my step son & my first child… I’ve never ever come across any judgement or questions to be fair I’ve never even thought about it! I know when me and my husband got together and how long he was single before etc and that’s what important.. not what others think. People may not judge as much as you think they will… at baby groups / music classes they are much more focussed on their own kids I’m sure .. :) x
Thank you both for your replies. @jemima really nice to hear from someone who has a step so close in age to your first child. My step son is bilingual so the fact that he isn’t mine sort of stands out a mile off. It’s nice you haven’t thought about it or haven’t come up against anything- i’m sure that would be the reality for me too. I think my issue likely comes from my very unconventional upbringing and sort of knowing our family was a subject of talk - my mum had bad MH in the 80s when it was taboo, my father died in quite tragic circs etc so i grew up with other family and always felt very different not having a mum and dad.
I get that must of been hard for you. But nowadays it’s much more common for ‘blended families’ step parents etc and if you do find anyone judgy or makes comments then they are not your friends and just ignore them… When I take all 3 kids out on my own other people regularly say to my step son ‘oh what has your mum got you’ or ‘you being a good boy for your mum today’ and he always replies ‘that’s not my mum, that’s my Jayy , my step mum’ and even then I’ve got no comments.. like I said , you know the truth about your family and if people do ask questions just tell them the truth if you want too… if you don’t then just ignore it ! :) x
Just remember that if anybody is judgemental then they aren’t your people. Xx
Families these days come in all shapes and sizes, I think lots of people understand that. You don’t really need to explain to anyone the full story if you don’t know them. You can just say “no that’s my stepson and this is my daughter” and any ideas or judgment they get in their minds is up to them. I sometimes like winding people up about mine 😂 my fella had his kids quite young and there’s an age gap between us, meaning our daughter is 18months and my SDs are 13 and 17. But sometimes to strangers I’ll just say “my daughter” and let them try do the maths 😂
hi im a stepmom tbh u dont even need to tell them people at the group they will probs just thibk there both yours x