Advice 😭

Okay so I’m just gonna start from the beginning so we don’t get lost.. so my fiancé and I got together when I was 18. He was 24. He wants a ton of babies. We already have our son and daughter on the way which they both were not planned, it’s okay. I love both of them soo much but I think I want my daughter to be the last baby. As everyone knows babies cost a lot and we’re in a 2 bed room house right now. As they get older we are gonna need to have a 3-4 bedroom. He has a horrible habit of spending money and going out to eat and I have talked to him but it just doesn’t seem to stop. I am a sahm so I don’t make money. I want to feel like myself again as well and not get told I’m “always moody” “hormones “ ETC…. When I go to talk to him about it, he is supportive but at the same time, he says it’s his decision too if we have anymore babies.. but I’m the one doing this for 9 months. (Hormones, carrying baby, weight gain, postpartum…) Don’t get me wrong, he is very supportive with the food cravings, letting me sleep when he’s off and taking the babies, etc … it’s just I don’t know I’m kinda just lost

Show your support

How is it his decision whether you have more babies when YOU are the one carrying the babies? Girl! It is your decision.

@Jola that’s what I keep telling myself but then I think about it more and more. Like I wanna probably get my tubes tied or something after her. Then another thing he mentioned a few weeks ago was “please don’t get put back on any kind of birth control” Because supposedly it makes me moody but I’m sure there are some that don’t mess with your moods I’ve just always done the pill

This sounds like you might need to have a PRIVATE conversation with your doctor to schedule either an IUD insertion or other long term birth control right after your birth. Many of these are breastfeeding compatible and can be done around the time of your delivery.

I understand his concern about hormonal contraceptives because they mess up my hormones too but he needs to be open to exploring other options and understanding that it is more of your call to make than his.

@Kristina oh I’m definitely planning on doing that my next visit next week because he always goes with me on visits to hear the heart beat and making sure she’s doing ok. Which is okay and all but then my doctor asks how I’m doing and sleeping and I basically have to lie because I have to set alarms to wake this man up at 2 am

How is it HIS DECISION TOO?! It’s your body and your choice. You not some breeding cow for his pleasures.

All of this is weirdly controlling Having more kids is a team decision and you both need to be on board.

Sorry but this is domestic abuse, if you read about different types of domestic abuse controlling your birth control and how many babies you have is a very known form of it. It very clearly means he does not respect you, nor does he view you as an actual human being but rather as a baby maker. To want to force you and your body to go through something you don’t want to is also sexual abuse and just not love at all no matter what other things he does for you that seem nice

Though I'm in a loving and committed relationship, I believe in not having more kids than what I'm willing or able to raise by myself.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌