If you’re not working

If they were at nursery before you had baby, then i would keep the same routine, if not the I wouldn't bother.

I wouldn’t but I would make sure that I have set things to do with them every week so that they’re socialising like playgroups, baby classes, soft play

Socialization is good but it's up to you and what you're comfortable with.

I would. 2 days isn’t much and is great for learning essential skills, routines and socialising with other children. It would also give you the opportunity to have 1:1 time with the new baby in the same way as the first child

They do need socialization, but nursery isn’t necessary if they’re able to get that

Oof. Ok. Please don't come at me folks, but I feel it's important to remember that young children really don't "socialize" until age 3. Yes, kids benefit from having multiple trusted adults in their lives, but the idea that they * need * socialization isn't really proven. Routines are valuable, and your kiddo might benefit from new activities, etc., but at the end of the day, if you're happy having your kiddo home, there's no downside. ETA: I mean socialization with other kids of the same age. Obviously family member socialization is a different and very valuable thing.

Honestly it’s not worth it to me bc daycares always seem to bring in so much sickness. Alternative would be library! They always have little story time for toddlers one day a week

@Katy This! Before the age of three kids benefit more from having stable caregiving than socializing with other children. If you don’t want to send your child to daycare, don’t. They are not missing out on socialization at one and there are a million other ways to get them around other kids!

No I wouldn't. Maybe he is trying to be helpful and thinks it will give you a break? But if you are looking after your children it is your decision and you absolutely don't have to. My son is nearly 3 and hasn't been to nursery yet because I decided to be a SAHM, he is thriving. At one year they are learning a lot just from being and interacting with you, they don't know how to play with other children yet and the benefits of that socialisation don't start until 3 years. Even so, they can still spend time around other children with you at play groups etc.

No, I don't see the need to send them to nursery if you aren't working. I don't work & my little boy isn't starting nursery until he is 3.

I do go to baby groups admittedly the last couple of months I struggled with pregnancy etc but I feel like now baby is here once recovered (I had baby a week ago) I’ll be going back to baby groups as I’ll be honest I need adult interaction too 😅 however I feel just sending her off now we have a new baby doesn’t sit right with me but then I think is it me not wanting to let go 🫣

Nursery isn’t a bad idea until it’s a money issue. Then it is what it is, keep your child home. But I definitely think kids need some socialization. I put my first born in school at 1 years old, and it worked out so well. He’s 7 now. When the spring comes. I’m signing up my second born.. also 1 years old for daycare a couple times a week so he can play with other kids and have that socialization.

I had a bigger gap so my eldest was very settled at nursery when his brother arrived. I kept him in for his usual days so I could spend 1:1 time out and about with the new baby. I'd had my first maternity leave kind of ruined by being in lockdown the whole time so that was important to me. Thankfully we could afford to keep him in as he loved it and is now thriving at school in part because of how prepared he was by nursery.

Honestly at that age they are not socializing. This is completely up to you and what you need in your daily routine. We kept my kiddo (21 months when baby was born) in daycare for the first 3 months because he was in daycare when I was working. Now I have both boys (4 months and 25 months) home and oh boy is it a challenge on my own but I enjoy spending time with them 🥰 We go to the library for story time, early on for play time and social time for me, Zumbini class, mommy and me fitness, and visit other friends and family during the week. I try to get out with the boys to do something fun (and free if I can find it) at least 3 times a week. The other days we run errands or hang out at home

I would and I’m planning to but when she’s closer to 20 months. 2 afternoons a week. It helps her to have more fun activities to do, socialise, and learn more. It also allows me to have time to do baby classes with our second as some classes don’t really accommodate for siblings & also I would need to focus on baby. Lastly it’ll give me a little down time which I’m allowed whilst she’s in a safe space that’s also conducive for her learning and development.

It's totally up to you. Them going to nursery would mean you can have some 1 to 1 time with your youngest while your eldest meets new kids and learns new things you might not be able to facilitate at home. But if you don't want to you don't have to

I don’t think either of you are right. It’s just a matter of personal preference. My toddler continues going to nursery even though I’m currently on mat leave - I thought it would be good for him to keep his routine, it would give me a bit of a break and a couple days with my second (I feel guilty that my first had my undivided attention 24/7 and my second gets me for 16 hours a week 😂), and I didn’t want to run the risk of losing his nursery place if I pulled him out. But if I wasn’t working, and he’d never been to nursery, I’m not sure what I’d have decided to do. There are pros and cons to sending him, pros and cons to keeping him home. You may feel you want a break at some point, or to have some 1:1 time with your second. That’s ok. But I would say if that’s the case, maybe think about how to introduce him to nursery as I think if it’s so soon after a new arrival your eldest may think they’re being sent there BECAUSE of baby. Ultimately it’s your decision though!

@Rachel they benefit from a stable caregiver, but that does not mean it makes socialization less important. They’re equally as important

@Katy can I ask why you believe they don’t need socialization? They may not be able to socialize with kids of the same age in the way that a 3 year old can, but socializing your infant into toddlerhood is necessary. And not just with family. And that doesn’t negate that it would be better for the baby to be cared for in a stable environment

If they were in nursery already then sure! That way they get time away from baby and you get 1:1 time with baby, uninterrupted ❤️ But if they weren't then I wouldn't. It's such s big change having a sibling and everyone adjusting and everyone mood sorting...i feel like the little one would be hurt and feel sent away or something. But if you have family near by could you ask them to hang with toddler even one day a week for like 2 hours??

It’s really your choice. I’m on mat leave with my second and been sending my 3yo to nursery two days a week. We’ve tried not to disrupt her routine too much and wanted to keep her place at nursery for when I’m due back at work like @Liz (although I’m considering not going back). I know she’s doing more fun activities than I have energy for currently with the sleep deprivation that comes with having a new baby. And it’s nice to have that special time with the new baby, she had my full attention 24/7 when she was born. There are also some days I really appreciate only having to look after one child 😂

Going to a park or playground is socialization too, I hate the stigma that kids that don't go to pre k or public school aren't social.... my homeschooled kids are way more social than I ever will be.

@Crystal this too! Socialization is important, but nursery isn’t important at all if your children are around other children

I don’t want my child is someone else’s care until he’s able to communicate how his day was. & there’s no genuine socialization happening between kids until at least 3 years old so

@Monét I'll send links when I have the time to re-research them!

@Parker 又 can you explain that to me? A few of you keep saying that but I don’t believe it’s true.

No. My 16 months old is not going to daycare and he is the most sociable baby ever. It's not about daycare. It's about the personality and the rhythm of the baby. A young kid needs to be home, safe and do activities with trusted people. Daycare exist because lots of families need it because of the system we live in. But that's not at all a necessity.

@Monét yeah! So Up until around 3 children mainly play through Parallel play! where they play alongside each other but don't directly interact. This is a stepping stone towards more complex social interaction, and happens at home & or just with family all the same as it does with a child the same age. And there’s generally shorter thresholds in their social capacity, due to their young age, so placing them in a daycare can kinda end up setting the kid up for failure. (Every child is different and there’s no shame for needing or wanting to utilize a daycare) The way western cultures view Socialization is very different than any other places! Kids are learning nonstop! If they are awake they are learning how the world operates. Replicating a structured environment at home is difficult for some people! But it’s not impossible! It’s always beneficial long term to have more ‘socialization’ but what that ‘needs’ to look like depends on the individual in question. Daycare isn’t the end all

@Parker 又 yeah I assumed this was the explanation, referring to the parallel play. In my head I read daycare is not necessary, not that socialization with other children isn’t. And I agree. But also the child is over 12 months, and sometimes there isn’t enough to stimulate them at home/parents are not sure how to stimulate them appropriately for their age. I am actually pretty against daycare in general and it would be great if it was purely an option for families, but we live in a shitty world. I think a lot of people also look at socialization as kids actively talking, playing, possibly touching, but it’s also just being in close proximity to other children. I also think parallel play with parents vs children is very different just the same as socialization with a small kid is different from an older one. Sorry this was long lmaooo

A 1 year old won't benefit from going to a nursery. I would do so when they're like 3+ and actually interacting with peers. At age 1 they will interact with the caregiver who won't care for them nearly as well as mom. Plus they're more likely to get sick.

@Marian just wanna add the sick thing can’t be avoided. My daughter went to daycare at 2.5 against my very last will lol and still she experienced the “be sick for 6 months straight” startup pack

@Monét I mean I hear you, no one is saying your kid shouldn’t be around other kids, even if it’s just parallel play, my point is that daycare isn’t the only place where that can occur. & what I meant for “kinda like setting the kid up for failure” was that a lot of the Kids that end up with behavioral issues at daycare like hitting or biting, do so because they are disregulated and hit the threshold of their social capacity. Like the hours at daycare aren’t conducive to a toddlers capacities imo

I sent mine to nursery when I had my second. I wouldn't be able to entertain her like they did at nursery. She had a lot more fun there than at home with me and a newborn. I had the time for just me and the new baby.

@Parker 又 oh 100% agree with that. I think I was stuck on the whole ‘socialization with other kids doesn’t matter until aged 3’ (by the others, not just you) I even think children staying home and being socialized with other children frequently leads to better socialization and security to create healthy attachments

Completely your choice but I felt like nursery at 1 years for both of mine made them so happy and sociable! We don't get out to see other kids or family that much and to see them playing with others was amazing. It also allowed me to have to calm down time so I had more energy when they were home and I enjoyed them days more

@Monét Respectfully, they are just not equally important at that age. I’m not saying children should never be socialized with other children until 3; however, up until that age the benefits of a stable caregiver are far greater than any benefits that the socialization they’re capable of at that age can bring. A few hours a week around other children (even just at park, play group, library, etc) is enough, daycare is not a necessity for socialization for young kids. Being able to form strong, stable attachments at a young age benefits your entire life

@Rachel yeah I never said daycare was necessary and you just said what I said. If socialization isn’t important, why would they need to go to the park, play with other kids outside of a daycare etc? I actually have said daycare isn’t necessary in like 3 of my comments lol

@Monét yeah when people said it here they mean like the same things that occur at home and in daily life (parks, libraries, play groups, indoor play areas, stores, etc) can produce the same developments & behavior that a daycare setting could in a child under 3. Like again “day care isn’t the end all be all.” Is the real main sentiment not that kids shouldn’t be around other kids

@Parker 又 got ya got ya

@Monét I have never said all socialization isn’t important at all, just that stable caregiving is more beneficial.. In fact in my first comment I mentioned there being other ways to get them around children As for what you’ve said in other comments, I haven’t had the time read through all these comments on this thread I am only coming from where you replied to me directly stating that they are equally important which just isn’t true

@Rachel socialization is not as important as a stable environment? They definitely go hand in hand. Keeping a stable environment for your infant or toddler but not speaking to them, reading to them etc is def not okay. If you’re just simply saying them being with other kids isn’t important and not equally as important as their caregiver, I understand. Otherwise I don’t lol

@Monét what meant was, they're more likely to get sick at age 1 if they're in daycare

@Marian which is better than sick at age 3?

I wish I had the luxury of not sending my little man till he’s a bit older as the illnesses since he started there have been RELENTLESS! If you can hold off till 18months- 2 years their immune system will be a little more mature so they should be able to handle the illnesses a little better!

It’s not necessary. That being said when my son was one he was intrigued by other children, so I took him to soft play and he really enjoyed that

@Monét yes! A 1-year-old is considered more vulnerable to illness than a 3-year-old because their immune system is still developing and hasn't had as much time to build up defenses against common viruses and bacteria, making them more susceptible to serious complications from infections compared to an older child like a 3-year-old who has a more mature immune system. You do you do though 👍🏻

@Monét This is long, so I'm going to 🧵 it. Please bear with me! (1) So, to clarify my comment: I'm not saying babies should be holed up at home with parents/etc. until they're 3. The idea I'm opposing is this repeated falsehood that "Babies need to go to nursery/daycare because they need the socialization." Usually, when people say it, they mean, "Babies need to *play with* other babies in a specific setting to develop social skills." Sounds like that's what OP's husband meant. Developmentally, "playing with" other children does not happen until age 3. Until that point, babies might "parallel play," but the part of their brain can't even understand sharing yet.

@Monét (2) I first learned this from my mother, who specialized originally in early childhood education, got a masters in special ed, and a post-masters in school admin and did everything from run a preschool, to lead a special ed dept, to run a middle school for at-risk students, and run her state's largest and most diverse middle school. I trust her implicitly but I obviously wouldn't expect you to ♥️... Big names in child development theory that point to this conclusion through their breakdown of developmental phases include: - Piaget (https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325030) - Erickson (http://www.simplypsychology.org/erik-erikson.html) - Bruner (https://www.simplypsychology.org/bruner.html) - Vygotzky (https://files.commons.gc.cuny.edu/wp-content/blogs.dir/4016/files/2022/08/Vygotskys_Sociocultural_Theory.pdf)

@Monét (3 - last one!) More contemporarily, and I think controversially, Emily Oster's Cribsheets, John Medina's Brain Rules for Baby, and the ever-hated Medium post (https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4) all collect data that points to this conclusion. (The daycare focus sucks because it makes people who need it feel like crap. I don't think daycare is necessarily bad, and don't think anyone should feel bad for needing OR choosing it.) I know this response is overkill, but I take my receipts seriously 😂

Completely up to you. Every child is different, some will be happy at nursery some won't. There's "pros" and "cons" for keeping them home and dropping them at nursery. Everyone sees it differently so it fully depends on you. X