Am I the Asshole?
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Neither of you are wrong here I don't think!
Neither of you are in the wrong here. You're both experiencing very valid emotions but unfortunately just conflicting with each other on it. Maybe try with something smaller which might make your partner more comfortable leaving baby with someone else. Like a little coffee date together or even just doing the shopping for an hour! I totally understand his feelings but at the same time it's not a long-term solution (however 3 months is still very little) . You have to get comfortable with leaving baby with other people you trust but it takes time and can be hard. See if perhaps there is another person he would feel more comfortable with watching baby or just if there is something else you can all do to reassure him?
Clubs as in nightclubs ? What on earth is he doing going to nightclubs when he was a new family to be there for anyway And id be upset too at the fact he’s going out n you feel like you wanna go out n be alone with him but you can’t - I’ve found me n my partner really need alone time it’s so so important even if it is hard leaving baby with someone else for a bit
@Jess for context my partner is 19. There is a 4 year gap between us (please do not judge). Throughout my time of being 18-21 I was in a very controlling relationship and missed out on being able to go clubbing or hang out with friends so I do encourage him myself to go clubbing. He doesn’t go a lot, just every so often. I just wish I could go with him at least once in a while
This is a tough one, but I think that both parents need to be comfortable leaving baby with someone else before you do it. Try to think of it this way - if the dad wanted to go out and the mom wasn't comfortable leaving baby, no one would likely question it - baby would stay with her and that's that. On the other hand, time together outside of baby is also important for your relationship. Would he feel comfortable doing a trial run for a few hours, where someone else takes care of baby, but you're both there so you can watch them do it? Does he have anyone he would trust as a caregiver? If kiddo is only 3 months, bear in mind that a lot of people would feel that's too little. I wasn't ready to leave my child in anyone's care for more than a few minutes until 4 months, and I have several supportive and trusted caregivers in my life, including my mom, who has been right beside us since birth.