Husband booked a ski holiday behind my back

I am so upset. My husband is in the army and lives away through the week. I have an ECV next Wednesday as my baby is transverse. I am 35 weeks. I called him when he was on route home, to ask if he can come to the clinic next week. He said he couldn’t as he was away ( he finishes his last course with the army a week ago, so sort of hanging around). It then transpires only a few hours before he has booked a ski trip with his army mates to France without even consulting me. I’m shell shocked and so upset. My baby is transverse so does carry risks and s potential elective at 37 weeks if they can’t move him. He said he can’t just ‘bum around’ waiting for 6 weeks. What does he think I’m doing? I’m so upset I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe he would do this so close to my due date without even consulting me before. He is now apologising saying he won’t go, but he’s already paid £300 now for his accommodation. I’m shell shocked.

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It’s happened. The bigger issue here is if he thinks he’ll be able to up and do whatever he pleases after that week. It’s hard not to be emotional but you need to try and rationally sit down and discuss how you see life as a family. You both will need time to do things you enjoy solo, and that means the other person being dependable and sharing the load, whatever that means for you. xx

@Cal totally agree with that- any other time I wouldn’t care! But I just can’t believe he’s done this so close to my due date, knowing I’ve had some complications and I had this ECV booked this week!

It’s disrespectful and irresponsible. He should have consulted you first. I’m sorry you’re having this stress on top of a complicated late pregnancy. Make it clear that when baby is here, any plans to be away from your responsibilities as a father and partner requires discussion xx

@Mary honestly I can’t believe it! He said I was being controlling! 😂 we always go on holidays together and separate ones, never any issues! He doesn’t understand it’s so close to my due date and it’s our first. I just told him to go, and I really question our marriage and I don’t want to be married to someone so inconsiderate. My dad would never have done this to my mum! He’s since apologised and he’s not trying to cancel his trip that he booked at 15.20 today! I’m past the point of caring, told him not to bother

I had a really similar thing happen to me although i was only 32wks and no complications, but I still felt a holiday was inappropriate and it ended really messy because I wasn’t clear enough that I was really unhappy about it. Should’ve said no at the time but I didn’t wanna be controlling but in the end the resentment came out and it’s caused a lot of damage. It’s good he’s apologised, shame he ever thought it was ok but don’t feel guilty for standing your ground. Hopefully when baby is actually here it’ll be more natural for him to get his priorities in order. That’s what I’m praying for in my situation anyway too. He might be feeling like this is his last chance of fun with his friends for a while xx

I would actually flip if my husband did this. I mean he might think of it and ask me but he definitely wouldn’t book it without discussing with me first! You’re justified to be upset and feel let down

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