Depression, burnout, and mom guilt

I’ve been the primary parent then single parent, bread winner, chef, maid, laundress, everything since pregnancies and now that they’re older (5+) I feel like I’ve hit a wall. A wall of exhaustion, depression, and I hate to say it, not caring. I still love them and would do anything for them, but I don’t want to play. I don’t want to color. I don’t want to listen to a 45 minute story that could be less than two sentences. My personal hygiene is disgusting. I used to be very nice and presentable but lately im lucky if I remember deodorant and rock a greasy mom bun. I used to be super mom. Activities, indoor and out, trips, play dates and groups, extracurriculars, if there was a modernized parenting book I read it, hot homemade meals and snacks, everyone clean and most of the time matching outfits. I’ve been working 12+ hour shifts, can only afford the childcare for then because my work helps, sleep an average of 4 hours a night, and I’ve gotten to the point I could care less if I’ve brushed my teeth before face planting in my bed. I know my kids deserve better. I want to give them better. My energy, motivation, virve, whatever you want to call it is just gone. I pick my kids up, drive home, make dinner that’s usually something frozen lately, help with homework, throw a load of laundry in, bathe the kids, do another load of laundry and doom scroll until I pass out. My one day off a week I sleep in until I can’t, go out with me and kids in pjs, go through a drive thru, do the grocery shop and errands, come home and do a half ass pick up because if I don’t it gets beyond unmanageable, dump the clean clothes from the week on the couch and the kids play with toys or watch tv with me while I tackle the laundry pile. Then rinse and repeat of do bare minimum for kids and pass out. I don’t have friends, I don’t have family, and their sperm donor forgot about them the moment he was no longer the center of attention.