I fear I’ll never trust my husband again 🥲

I don't believe he's telling the truth and that what you've said is actually true because why would this girl just block you on everything? I wouldn't have gotten back with my partner if he did this to me, but that's just me. Can I ask what you love about this guy? Does he treat you amazingly? Is he a good father? How's he treated you since he came back?

@Becky I know I still don’t understand why she would block me on everything either and it bothers me a lot! He’s a fantastic father and always has treated me well aside from this break up, we have been together 14 years in total minus the break up and never had any issues prior or now I guess but I can’t seem to forget and it’s eating away at me 🫣

Honestly? It sounds like he’s went to this other woman and it didn’t work out so he came back to you his second option. I’d badger him for the truth and tell him if I didn’t get it I’m leaving. There’s something else going on here and the fact she blocked you speaks volumes! If it was innocent she would have said so

@Sam since we got back together them years ago she’s now left the company he works for too.. it just doesn’t add up does it? I’m kidding myself 😭 she would have at least said it’s nothing to do with her if this was innocent? He tells me constantly that she’s older and he wouldn’t do that type of thing etc and sometimes I’m like ok let it go now but secretly I can’t even after all these years

No it definitely doesn’t. It would constantly be on my mind too! And that’s what I mean she would have said absolutely nothing has happened, I mean that’s what I would say if I’d done nothing with a man. I understand I’d feel the same and want the truth

@Sam what should I do if he still after all these years sticks to the same story and swears nothing was going on 🫣 I’m starting to think I’m just looking for things that aren’t there it’s so hard

He’s also told me to go and speak to her in person if I don’t believe him.. after all this time I’d be humiliated going and asking her to recall memories from years ago but since I can’t let it go that’s his solution to prove he’s not lying? Would he really be lying to me if he is happy for me to go and ask her in person? It’s so confusing

That’s really down to you like can you really bare wondering about it for the rest of your life? I know I couldn’t, I’d be determined to find out what went on and maybe that’s what he wants you to think, that’s you’re looking for something that isn’t there but I honestly don’t buy it.

I feel like you will never really know everything that truly went down during that period and you have to accept that. Focus on what you can control. You decided to reconcile with this man 6 years ago. You can decide to leave now. But you can’t keep expecting someone to keep reassuring you and/or providing more evidence 6 years later. You have to decide if he’s the man you want to be with today, let the rest go and move on one way or the other. Otherwise you’ll torture yourself and him forever.

@Amber I agree I have to make a decision as I can’t take much more of feeling this way! Thank you for your advice x

Hey, so this triggered me quite a bit…back to 2001 when my dad had an affair with his colleague behind my mums back after 20 years of marriage. It’s our story and not yours (I’m mindful of projecting) but there are some similarities…. He left saying he was having mental health issues and that he was desperate to find a way home to us. He left for the woman he’d been having an affair with for 5 years on and off. She was also married. Within months he was home to my mum as the other woman never ended up leaving her husband and he was a heartbroken mess. He would rarely talk about it and insisted on solo therapy rather than my mum coming too, which she was very keen to try. Years later this woman’s husband found a letter from my dad to his wife, she told her husband to ring my dad if he didn’t believe her… so he did call him. My advice: marriage therapy. Get to the bottom of it. If you’re still struggling, you deserve to feel free of the past xxx

He sounds like trash! You and you're family deserve someone who actually wants to be a respectful husband and a dad who doesn't leave his family, poor you 💔 it's shocking!

I think women have a sixth sense about these things. But you either have to let it go and move on or your marriage will break at some point. Either you forgive him or you don't and keep hold of it. If he was going to tell you the truth he would have already.. Sending you a hug 🤗 it's a hard situation but you have forgiven him because you tried again so maybe let it go now if you want to be with him.

Update guys.. I did a bit of fibbing to get to this point but I lied to my husband and said I had messaged her and had a response to say she admitted to the affair, his response was met with a scared look and asked what her response was exactly, of course he realised very quickly I was lying because I wouldnt show him the messages, before he asked to see the messages he was responding like “well what are we going to do form here now then are you leaving me” but then came back with “I’ve told the truth nothing happened” hes gaslighting me isn’t he as he knows I didn’t really have a response? Heartbroken and need help with this

I honestly don't think you should be taking advice from here. Do what only you want to do. We are not married to your husband and we have not been in that situation. Even if there's women that have been through similar it's not the same. Sending you a hug 🤗

@Misha I agree with you. A lot of people are quick to say leave ect Personally, if you really want to know speaking with the woman is only way at this point But if you dont think youd leave him regardless as it was awhile ago and you find out something happened, you cant take back that information