in Sex and Relationships with Railey Molinario

Is it me? I’m now doubting myself

Me and my partner have been having problems lately, we have a 2 yr old girl. He works full time and I work 4.5 days a week as a self employed beauty therapist. I do my best to keep on top of house work but the days that I have off I have my daughter and I like to get us out of the house. He is constantly making little niggles at me saying “we really need to get on top of house work, we meaning me. He has now started to mention it in-front of my family and friends saying “someone has to do the house work” he makes me feel like I do nothing all day when actually all I feel like I’m doing is looking after our child, focusing on my business, getting out the house so I don’t go absolutely insane. I always take our little one to nursery, get her ready, give her a bath, put her to bed and I’m absolutely okay with that, but why does he think that I just sit on my ass all day while he is at work? Can anyone relate I’m now doubting myself if I’m not actually doing enough?

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You say he works full time but I'd also consider 4.5 pretty full time? You both work, you should both be doing housework. Very much sounds like he's not pulling his weight at all. I'd sit down with him and see if you can single out a few daily tasks, at least the main ones that need doing each day and assign them to one of you, as fairly as you can. That way you're both accountable and contributing to running the house. You need to call him out on his little comments because he's being incredibly immature and passive aggressive. You're not in the wrong here, you're absolutely doing more than enough 💜

My other half can be the same. He works 40hrs a week has 2/3 days off a week one of his days off is mid week and daughter is at school. I come home from work, I work 32hrs and have to cook, bedtime routine and expected to look after the house. You would think on the week day that he has off he could at least cook for us and do the night time routine but instead all he does is game. All day and all night. Then gets annoyed when I’m knackered and there’s toys all over the floor or I’m struggling on keeping up with the washing while working. I live with a man child I’m sure of it. I believe that if there are 2 adults in the house they should both be helping with the house work. Yes everyone wants their down time but you can’t complain about the state of the house if your not willing to help tidy up! I would like some down time but I never get it and then he wonders why I’m annoyed or i go to bed after putting daughter to bed to get some peace and quiet.

" you are right honey, you get started on x and I'll get started on y"

Both should be doing housework in my opinion. Both are making the mess lol. In our home if you see a mess, clean it up. If you can’t then communicate but there’s no such thing as only me cooking and cleaning whether I’m working or not.

My husband works 6 days a week but will still help with the house work on his day off. It should be shared. Has he every had your daughter on his own for a day? Maybe it's time to do this. Then he will see who has time for housework! X

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