Please no judgement seeking help

I have been a terrible partner and want to do better. My partner is going through a lot work problems, a mental health diagnosis and I know I haven’t been the most supportive. I’ve tried but idk how to help I never know what kind of mood I’m going to get if he’s going to be in a good mood or a bad mood, if I should wake him or let him sleep, tell him I’m leaving/ask/or just go on about my day. I get bad anxiety of just never knowing. He sleeps pretty much all day then is awake at night. It boils my blood because we have a toddler and it hurts me so much that he sleeps the whole day maybe sees the baby for a few minutes then it’s bed time. I’m also dealing with my own mental health, handling our baby by myself while very pregnant trying to keep up with house work. By the end of the day I’m sore and I’m done a lot of days I do spend on the couch/floor playing with our toddler and the close to my due date there’s been more tv time. Back to my partner he will be wired at 2am and want to goof around and then gets upset when I just want to sleep and “dont want him around” when he’s like that. Or when our toddler goes to bed he will want to start goofing around tickling and being hands on in a goofy way and im touch out. He is stronger so he doesn’t realize it hurts and I get kicked and pinched and headbutted on accident toddler behaviour etc.. all day that I don’t want to goof around like that. I know he feels unwanted because I shut down that playfulness and our toddler cries everytime he trying to cuddle with him. I don’t know how to help him because I always seem to do the wrong things at the wrong time. He expresses for me to do something so I do that the next time then that time he needed a different form of support so it becomes a big thing. I feel my brain I’m going 16391918293 miles a minute and I can’t remember anything so I do try but I easily forget. I don’t know if this makes sense but thank you if you made it to the end