While talking to my sister in law she brought up a family secret from her family that I thought she didn’t know. Once she realized i took the hint and knew what she was talking about, she felt comfortable sharing a secret with me.

I would tell him, but first inform your sister in law that you will x

Tell me the secret and I’ll tell him for u I NEED TO KNOW 🤣😭

Nah but for real if you feel you can’t hold it in, and she won’t do it fast enough, let her know you’re going to inform him. And if she’s not ok with that then let her know she needs to tell him asap x

I would give her a reasonable amount of time to do it herself and then if she doesn't, make it clear (in a kind way) that you will tell him. Maybe offer to support her to tell him as she's probably struggling to work out how to tell him just as much as you're struggling to work out how not to tell him x

So tricky; I wouldn’t be able to keep a secret from my husband for one day. My loyalty is first to him. I would tell the sister that you’re going to tell him today/tomorrow unless she wants to do it first.

I would tell him and also explain that she plans to talk to him too and might have more insight so he should hear her out at well to best understand the situation

based on the nature of the secret it sounds like something that would be hard to keep quiet esp with your husband but i guess i would wait for her to tell him? idk it depends what the secret is. now you’ve got me so curious!! if its not even her secret to tell i wouldnt feel too bad telling him but you said its about her brother? then maybe let her do it

At the end of the day, it's not really your secret to tell. If you really think your husband needs to know, then ask her when she is thinking of telling him & say that you think he needs to know quite soon.

Talk to her and say that you need to tell him or even say you can tell him together but if you can’t hold it in then don’t and yeah he needs to know

I wanna know the tea 👀 you’re incognito 👀

Is your husband the brother of both your sister in law and her brother?

Can you share what it’s about?

Is so hard to explain but when my husband and brother in law were younger, their mother was having an affair with a neighbor. The neighbor wife found out and was very upset because her and mother in law were some what friends. After finding out how he was cheating on her with the neighbor, her and her 11-year-old daughter made a report, the report was that my brother in law raped her 11 year old daughter. It was all taken to court, the judge dismissed the case, brother in law was asked to put himself in the list for pedo. The neighbors were given q safety transfer to move far away. It is said that this was done in order for the mom to get revenge and move.

Only reason i know this is because a long time ago mother in law got hospitalized and i stood in her house with her daughters that were 6 and 12 at the time but also my brother in law that is my age. I noticed some behavior that I thought it was weird between them. For reference me and my brother-in-law were 22 at the time. His 12-year-old was like his best friend and I found that to be weird because that was not at all the relationship I had with her or my husband at that age. He So I brought it to my to my husband‘s attention that I felt like something wasn’t right and he gave me permission to go through his sister’s phone. Note to say my husband always been like a father to his sister so he was in charge of her school and discipline because mother in law wouldn’t do that. When I went through the phone, I found a conversation between her and her brother where they were speaking about 12 year-old girl and he was telling his sister that she was bad as if good looking.

There was more to the conversation. I just can’t really remember. I just know that it made me feel some type of way so I showed my husband. He spoke to the mother to try to have his sister not be around his brother like that because he thought it was inappropriate for him and his age to be best friend with a 12-year-old. his mother got really upset on him and it got really bad they ended up not speaking for three months over this, because she couldn’t believe the fact that he was saying that it was inappropriate for the Bro to be best friends with a 12-year-old. Thats when he told me what happened when they were little. This is the secret sister in law was checking to make sure i knew before she told me the new information

That sounds like a lot to deal with - you don't have to give specific details obviously but is the new information a crime that the brother in law has or may have committed against someone else? Is anyone in danger or at risk? These would be things I'd consider when deciding if I need to pass the information on

@Holly my sister in law confirmed to me the situation about the 12 year old friend when we were 22. Then she started to cry and told me that her best friend, that she has for forever. That wad also their neighbor confessed to her that her brother molested her when she was around 5 year old, that will make my brother in law 18/19 at the time. Her bests friend told her that her whole family knows that this happened that she ended up telling them years later after it happened. She just never wanted to tell my sister in law because she was scared it would ruined their friendship because thats her brother. Now here is the thing i see a pattern in all of this. Not only that but i been on vacation with my brother in law many times and realized his type is girls that look very young, we are now in our 30s and that hasn’t changed. My husband and his brother have a little sister from their father side that is 12 years old right now. My brother in law has recently started being with her.

He has been hanging around her a lot And knowing what I know that worries me not only that but the fact that I have a one year-old daughter. I feel like my husband should know this but also my husband is going through a very hard time right now. My husband lost his best friend recently in a brutal way. My brother in law works for my husband so this might cause big problems.

That is an awful situation to be in, I can see why you feel conflicted given the possible difficulties it'll cause with work etc. If you think the 12 year old he's befriended could be in danger you have to tell someone to protect her. It doesn't have to be your brother, you could support your sister in law to go to the police or social services and have it dealt with that way. I'm sure there's an option for you both to stay anonymous. I would hate to be in your position and I'm sorry you're going through it but it really boils down to what would be harder to live with, knowing you've caused your husband to have to face up to what his brother has done, or knowing that staying silent has meant he can get away with doing it to another child. It's extremely likely that if he's done it three times that you know of, that he's done it more or will do it more in the future.

I think if your husband just lost his best friend, maybe table it for awhile. I donno but could be a lot for your husband to process right now. But someone needs to protect the 12 year old. Maybe the sister can inform someone else?

If you are the only person who is willing to do something to protect the young girls in this family I think you need to act fast. Inform your husband, maybe even make a police report

I feel you, we never hide things to each other with my hubby, just keeping secret his gifts for his birthday/Christmas is so hard. Or just very silly thing without any big deal I have to told him, until Inhavent I feel heavy. So in your situation, I would tell him what I know, why I hesitated and so on ** just read the comments after your post : please tell him asap. It’s about protecting your daughter and younger girls of your family. I hope your husband will understand and take action, I’m very sorry you have to go through all this

I found out my brother in law in cheating on his girl again and I have videos and pictures and everything. But I was told not to say anything so I just have to wait till someone of the siblings decides to tell her because I’m always the one who catches him Give her time. Truth will come out