Advice on second child

This is something I never thought I'd post because I've always been 'one and done'. But lately, I watch my son play with other children and instantly feel guilty he doesn't have a sibling. However, I had a HORRIFIC time after birth, I'm genuinely surprised I'm here to even write this message. My son's father (who I am reluctantly still with) was just awful and didn't help at all. I was basically a single parent and pretty much still am (although very small progress has been made). I know that I would be setting myself up for failure to have another one because it wouldn't be any different. But it's something that's getting me upset lately. I don't really know what sort of replies I'll get to this but I don't particularly have friends to talk to so thought I'd pop a message on here to see if anybody has been in the same boat? P.s please no comments about leaving my son's father if I'm reluctantly with him. It's not quite as easy as that x

Show your support

Sorry youre going theough this. Kids that don't have siblings tend to make really good friends, as they grow and they become their support group. As mums we always have something to feel guilty about but I think you're being sensible and doing what's right for u.

I had another back in August 2023, I don’t regret it at all! Love seeing them together. If it’s what you want, go for it. As the baby gets bigger, it’s not a lot different from having just 1 child. Especially if you’re already doing everything alone anyway x

@Olivia that's very true! One big worry for me is that I'm luckily able to manage as he sleeps great and I'm usually up before him to get myself ready for the day etc. but if I have a baby getting up at 5am, then having to get a toddler up at 8am, everyone ready and me off to work by 9am, I can just feel like the sleep deprivation will kick in and I'll really struggle 😭

Our youngest is Oct 2021 baby. Eldest was born early Jan 2020. Only 20 mths between them. Wouldn't change a thing! Although they're super close in age & almost similar abilities now, the juggle can still be a difficult one as I've got to consider different maturities... My mental health hasn't been great since having our kids, for various reasons, but I'm pushing every day to be the best mum I can be. So I don't know how I'd personally cope with a larger age gap to juggle. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I also currently only do flexi hours of work, not part or full time. I don't know how single mums (or mums who are basically single mums) of multiple kids do it. They are goddesses in my eyes. My husband helps out loads & I'm eternally grateful. What I'm trying to say is every situation is different, but take into account whether you'd be "pouring from an empty cup" or not & if you could juggle 2 completely different age groups with your current lifestyle/relationship/mental health... There's nothing wrong with "one & done". x

I always contemplated on having another and somebody said to me, you’ll never regret the child you had, but you’ll regret not having another… and so off I went and I’m now pregnant with baby 2😅

Myself and my husband are one and done. We have the best little girl we could have ever wished for. I understand the feeling of wanting to give them a sibling, but I personally don’t think that’s a good enough reason by itself to have a second child. And not all siblings get along. She has great little friends in pre school and we will make sure she has lots of opportunities to socialise as she gets older, with sports, dance etc.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌