Never been so upset in my life.

Yesterday i wanted to tidy whilst my partner was at home as today i would of had to sort it whislt i had my 7mth old. He was watching the football which to be honest he doesnt always watch. But my LO kept coming into the kitchen and messing with stuff. So i said to remind him to watch the baby just whilst i sort the kitchen. Again baby kept coming in shouting for me so i picked him up and he had wet. My my partner has a habit sometimew he forgets to change LO nappy after a feed. So i passed him to him to change h8m and next min he just flew off the handle going on how he cant do anything and how im treating him like a candy arse! This literally turned into him shouting and swearing! And then telling me i mean nothing to him because we are not married or nothing? This really upset me because we have been together nearly 14 years and i had such a difficult pregnancy as well as the first 24 weeks i had an unsupportive midwife who didnt put in the appropriate plans in place due to my medical needs and this caused me alot of anxiety and resulted in my having an emergency csection when i wanted a nautral pool birth. I had someone coming to pick up some nappies i was giving away and after all that i was still nice and asked could he passed them to the guy to the reply do it myself? I had my son on me asleep at this point. This literally was my tipping point and put my son down to go give them and then he then said 'i didnt know where they were'? I let loose on him when i got back in and basically told him i dont want nothing to do with him any more. Hes always angry, miserable and mean to me i dont know if he has some type of male PPD? But i cant cope any more as i have my own problems and i dont want to be arguing around my son. Im so upset today because all i did was bring a baby into the world that was very much wanted and is loved and this is the situation. I didnt grow up with my dad and i always wanted that for my kids to have a family and i feel like despite all this i may just have to go it alone any way.

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Sounds like your already alone I sorry to say

Really common for emotions to be high around babies. Give you both grace

@Rachel thank you! Im trying my best! Im tired and cant take much more!

I think you already know what you have to do. I mean if you want to stay then couples therapy or separate therapy especially for him. It’s not you of course being the nasty one in this situation but you have anxiety and this is a traumatising thing for him to be doing to you for no reason. He should welcome his son in his arms and always fulfill his son’s needs at whatever age. You’re a great mum and a great person so don’t let him get you down at all. The forgetfulness is an excuse after a few times. I think everyone can have forgetfulness but not to the point it’s all the time and it’s as something as important as changing your son as well. It’s not easy to forget your child’s needs. My partner was learning with me and he took longer to get the hang of it with our child but he didn’t forget to do things like that. You deserve someone who’s going to be there for the both of you and I do hope you look after yourself. I know it’s difficult and I’m sorry you didn’t have your dad around

But my advice is don’t compare not sure if that’s the right word but don’t project that. Your child can still have a wonderful life and they’ll always know you were there. If you do leave and he wants to be apart of his son’s life, then you could learn to co parent together. If he doesn’t then that says exactly the type of person he is and having that around your child could negatively impact them. Ask some friends or family that you have if they can help out with you and your child

@Dionne thank you dionne! Its not all the time he does it. I literally will change my baby every 3hrs if hes asleel then i will change him when he wakes up. He was great at firsr really supportive i was off for a month and done all the cooking. He works nights so would come in from work and take the baby until i got up to ger a good sleep. Then recently he has started slipping getting the baby later off me in the morning and just being angrier. I know he is not happy with his job and i asked him to go a back on his antidepressants as he was brilliant on them but this time they dont really seem to be working for him like the were previously. He doesnt tell me anything he harbours all his feelings no matter how much i ask him until he blows. Im just disappointed with him right now because of his behaviour. It takes alot for me to blow and i dont want my baby to be in the middle of that.

You’re already doing it by yourself from the sound of things, so I don’t think it will be any noticeable change if your partner wasn’t there anymore, sorry to say. You will never get me time, since he forgets to even change a nappy, any time you get to yourself will be spent worrying about if your LO has had a bottle or clean nappy etc.

Do you really want to leave him or is this just mud in the water? Definitely let him know you’re upset about this and need support. Also a Ring. 💍If he wants this to work you need him to take back what he said to show commitment in actions ! He probably does have PPD as do most of us during the overwhelming experience of having a baby especially after an emergency c section. Hopefully he will apologise after realising he hurt your feelings . Very disrespectful of him ppd or not he shouldn’t be talking down to you like that

I had this with my ex. Was a really traumatic birth and when she was here he was amazing. I had to have an emergency c section and then my stitches got infected so I couldn't do much for first month and he did everything. Once I wss better though it seemed like he thought he done everything he needed and it was all down to me. He went to work and I stayed at home which I really appreciated him. But if I asked him to do anything once he was home like have her so I could jump in Bath for half hour or he'd like to help put her to bed he would start shouting he works all day so why would he want to. Even weekends which he Had off if I suggested we all go out somewhere to spend some time as a family he would get angry and refuse to do it as he said he's been outside working all week.I thought it was depression and he went the doctors and spoke to someone and went on anti depressants but didn't really seem to help for long. I left him when she was 7 months old. Maybe sit and talk to him first

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