What is life… 🙈
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I think teenage is the hardest. A lot of parents survive that stage but also many lose their kids at that age and the bond never gets back 🥺
@Olga yeah I think that’s what happened to me and my parents when I was 17. We are ok now but it took a good 10 years later but still not as close as some are. I think him being a boy too doesn’t help. All I can do is be there but as he’s always letting me down and never wants to do anything or go anywhere I just stop asking x
@sweetest aww sorry you’re in that situation. Teens can be brutal my son is the same. His dad can do no wrong. Hope your kids grow to appreciate you x
I feel for you ❤️🩹 I have an elder brother and my parents had no bad concerns about me, they were always thinking that my brother will be the one who will give them hard time once puberty hits. And in reality it was vice versa, my brother was a very smooth teen while my hormones hit it hard and I was not cream and peaches at all. It started around 14 and I got back to normal around 17. It’s a very hard age for parents to navigate through.
I'm not a parent of a teenager so I have no advise on that front. I am the daughter of an immigrant and I think his perspective was quite unique and one I always appreciated. Every day he would check in on all 3 of us and just say hey I hope your doing well today. As a teenager I kinda rolled my eyes at this but when I moved out and he kept calling every couple of days and leaving the same message it was extremely comforting. Now after 20 years away from home he still does it. Just the act of someone checking on you and caring is a wonderful thing. I asked him once why he did it especially when many times I was too wrapped up to call him back. He just said: I'm the parent and it's my job to make sure you are okay and check on you. What you choose to do with that is on you. You have a life to live but I also want you to know that you have someone in your corner no matter what. I hope just being their for all your guys teens will translate to appreciation in time. You are all awesome Mom's 💖
Oh, I feel you, it's brutal! My eldest is almost 15, and since I've had a teen, I've now said toddlers are a doddle in comparison, which I never thought I'd say! My middle one is almost 11, so be going through it all again soon, eurgh! 😑
@Sarah thanks for sharing your story, it’s really lovely tbh. It’s never easy raising kids when you’re separated and don’t live with them full time. I keep in touch every day with my son when he’s at his father’s but mostly he doesn’t reply. Occasionally answers the phone and will most certainly be in touch when he wants money etc 🙄 Did your dad ever spend quality time with you? Like did you feel a bond at all? I just don’t know what to do for the best. Mostly I get blamed by my ex and now my son feel it’s my fault for his bad behaviour in his younger years, it was my “bad parenting” I hear from them. I was a single mum and did find him hard work most of the time but I think I did well and always put him first and he never missed out. What’s the point eh x
@Sarah that’s so lovely ❤️ It really warmed my heart and I was actually gonna comment, never stop trying to get close or let them know you’re there. They have to go by themselves through all the things happening to them, but they also will appreciate having you around as a safe place. I don’t have a teenager (yet) and I’m quite afraid of that stage but I think openly talking about what you just wrote, how it makes you feel, and also being open to his criticism, accepting you had mistakes, eventually making agreements… it can teach him a valuable lesson and maybe help lowering his walls (over time I’d guess :/ I’m just thinking of what I would’ve liked to have in my teenage years. Feeling heard can go a long way, being less alone... Try also connecting with what he is interested in? Just brainstorming here, please don’t feel judged or underestimated in your situation, I sincerely don’t think about it as something easy
While they are teenagers, no hopefully, when they become adults and experience life, it will get better. I have a 19, 17, 15. My daughter blames me for everything her dad has done. That's wrong. I'm hoping one day she realises I tried my best and that I'm not perfect that being a mum to 3 isn't an easy job.