Sibling issue
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@Ella my niece to turned 10 today so the party was for yesterday but she drank all day Saturday so she canceled sundays party because she was hung over. My niece has a phone so I got my nieces phone number and her dads just in case if I want to see her or take her out or whatever. He also bought the phone and pays for it not my sister. She barely seen my sister around like 5 pm today. She was suppose to wake up to the decoration on her door and stuff at my sisters house this morning so that means she was suppose to be dropped off Sunday night but since they were with us and she doesn’t respond he kept her assuming for the night. I raised my niece with my sister since day she was born until 3 years ago so when she was 7.
@Ella it’s more also I won’t ever see my nephew so her husband currently is mad at me for whatever reason and don’t like my fiance I knew my nephew and was there when he was couple days old and like three months later I was out his life he currently 3 he also has autism and I seen him at parties but never hugged him or said hi or nothing sadly but she ft over years and sent pictures I have but idk him sadly and I wish to know him but he don’t like me and if upset her I won’t ever know him but it’s like I already don’t u know which is just sad
If your niece lives with your sister....you're just gonna have to decide to eat the BS until your niece is older OR cut her out and wait until your niece is older to try and connect. I wouldn't mention that her dad let's you connect with her because if she gets mad she might shut it down. He might not feel it's worth the drama especially if she starts going in on him yk? If she lives with her dad then I would just connect with her through him and call it a day. But this also might mean you lose access to your nephew.
@C she minds lives back and forth a lot not really like a more or less house she is at and he never listens to her he got the phone and she wanted to he didn’t anyways.they forever argue always he might be the one tell her anyways to throw in her face he seen me and my kids and fiance lol so it’s more like she keeps messaging me and it’s like should I be honest why I don’t want to speak to her because now I have contact with my niece I really don’t need to talk to her and more to why. And plus she pops up once a month already I haven’t seen my sister in years or had her over or I go over nothing so it’s like is it worth me saying something to her, so she can stop messaging me or is it like should I be real about it. Plus my niece acts different with my fiance and my kids and me when my sister around she was so happy when her dad brought her.
I think you should be honest and open with her about why you want to take a step back because of her bad habits. You don't need to get your sisters permission to see your niece if her dad is allowing it, it isn't her business. I'm sure if your niece wanted to tell her she would of mentioned it already. Maybe you could arrange with your niece father to do something with her to celebrate her birthday late? I would just be happy personally! ☺️
To me, it sounds like your sister might have a drinking problem? Going home at 4pm when she’s got kids and a husband and it’s her daughter’s 10th birthday. If this is the case then she needs help not distance. I’m sorry you have to go through this, I also feel like there are some double standards between me and my sister because she apparently doesn’t want me making the same mistakes. But even when I didn’t speak to her, I still spoke to my niece and nephew through my mum, they even visited way more than my sister as I made effort to go get them because I also helped raise them and they mean the world to me. They are younger than your niece but please do not give up on your relationship with any of them.
@Ema my niece went to her house at 4 pm, she drank all day Saturday and obviously past midnight and went home and woke up late Sunday why she called off for her party and ig relaxed all day and that’s why my niece didn’t go to her house she stayed at families I got to see her and she didn’t go home for her actually birthday which was yesterday. She usually has weekends with her dad and is dropped off Sunday night for school next day and so forth but my sister was hung over and slept all day that my niece didn’t go home and stayed with her dad on her actually birthday which birthday and since that happened he didn’t get to celebrate her birthday way he was supposed to or wished too because he wasn’t supposed to have her Monday so all Monday my sister just was like whatever her decorations are up on her door like energy.
Dammm that’s so sad, I still think she might have a problem with drinking though. I have met very high functioning alcoholics. I don’t know if it’s a one off or constant but either way, goodluck with your niece and I hope she had a great birthday either way.
@Ema yeah she does and honestly she is light weight she just over does it and does it constantly every weekend and sometimes random days. She currently isn’t supposed to drink she has cyst in her stomach she has horrible acid issues and I told my fiance I’m like she technically relapsed she was sober honestly like a month and she texts me every time she messes up because I don’t drink and do anything and I always try to help her and not judge her but now with this I feel to far to do that to my niece on her birthday. My dad is 5 years sober and he even said like she reminds him of himself when he drank a lot and my whole family sees it I told them nobody says nothing seriously everyone just gossips nobody actually says they’re concerned but they said she can have those cyst explode and she can possibly die from it and it’s like she should take it seriously because she has kids. Nobody saying nothing to her to me that’s not caring. But she is someone that gets offended fast
@Salena Sanchez they are probably tiptoeing around the topic as she gets offended easily. I do feel sorry for her kids. Sounds like she needs rehab tbh.
Hmm you need to do something because ghosting isn't helpful. If you aren't willing to be a support (which is fair enough because she sounds like a terrible person tbh) then I think you should message her. Maybe it will be a wake up call. Explain how her drinking is effecting everyone around her and how she's risking her life and her children might end up motherless. Explain that while she continues down this path, you need to distance yourself. Tell her you love her and if she's going to get sober you will be back at her side.
@Ema sadly I think she does but I feel like she assumes we all judge her by saying that.
@Ella we use to be very close but something happened in our childhood that affected I think all of us as adults that since I had boundaries and kids it’s like certain people that did harmful things to her even and she has them in her life still and it’s uncomfortable for a lot of my family and for me it’s like I can’t enter her life with these people in her life that are harmful to everyone and her that I still question situation with so it’s more like I just don’t feel me and her can even grow with these big issues in our life. That she avoids and those people avoid. I actually have explained to her when she told me about cysts and that’s when she was sober for like a month or so now it like repeating so I feel my whole life I tried helping her most and she very stubborn and has a lot issues like and I assume it’s from our childhood trauma but she turns 30 this year it’s like not excuse and she has two kids and one has autism. Her man is in a band and doesn’t help with lifestyle
She cancelled her own daughter's birthday party cause she was hungover? Ew. How old is your niece? So hang on, you raised your niece for how many years? And when did she go back to her mum? It's kinda hard to give advice because if your niece is young...if you go no contact with your sister you'll never see your niece....