Childcare Mom Guilt
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You can get an au pair... or stay home but still have a hobby or build an online business of your own. For your son to have when he's older or just to give you more time with baby anyways. Still look into an au pair. They can be as low as 700 a month and stay with you. My aunt had one when I was little. She was from Czech.
Is it an option for you to drop your days to part time? That may be a happy medium as you’ll still get an outlet but not have to worry about the financial loss of full time due to your partners pay rise. Also, it’ll reduce the need for as much childcare as you’ll be able to be fully present for your child 2/3 days per week xxx
My son is 2 now and so far we are able to keep him at home with us with the help of nanny . I am WFH and my husband on-site . We tried many nanny before finding the perfect one for our LO . He rejected many nanny within 30 mins , but this one he was laughing within 5 mins . He is always laughing hard with her and playing in our house . It gives me relief and also some free time to do my office work plus adult life . It matters of 1-2 year then he will start pre-k . If you can manage your job by keeping nanny , what is harm ? They will be happy , you will be happy . Just try to find the right nanny for your family .
The fact you feel guilty shows what an amazing mummy you are. But you shouldn’t feel guilty, you are more than a mummy and allowing yourself to be more will only benefit baby with a happier mummy in the long run 💗 be kind to yourself x
My husband and I both have full time jobs. Our 3 year old has been in nursery since 6 months. Honestly it surprised me how well adjusted he was socially and how independent he had become. We moved from US to UK when he was 18 months and he started a new nursery. He just walked in and started playing with toys like he had been going there his whole life. He plays well with other children, communicates his needs well, and generally just understands social boundaries. I don't think he would have developed that if he wasn't around other children all the time. When he is home, we just make sure we are fully present with him from dinner to bedtime and on weekends. I hired a cleaner just so we have lots of family time when we are not working. I think the important part is to find the right nursery (good child to teacher ratio, fits well with child's personality, safe and secure, etc.) or hire a nanny which is trial and error process of its own.
I felt guilty sending my son to daycare before too but now there has been so much progress in his speech and his socialization in just like 6 months. We saw a difference in 3 months. It's not always a bad thing to send them to daycare. They will eventually like going and will run into the class and not even say bye to you lol! Keep looking for places that align with your expectations and the vibes you get but don't have super high expectations at the same time.
Outside help is your “village” never feel guilty about that! It sounds like you keeping your job helps make you the best version of yourself which then allows you to show up 100% for your baby. Think about how you would feel if you no longer did what you love, at home with baby most of the day and not having that team to help. would you be able to show up for baby the same way you are know mentally and physically (not that having baby at home is bad at all).