Husband Gaslighting

Lately I am thinking my husband is gaslighting me. I just can see so many red flags that he always make me think I am the crazy one. We have been together for 12 years and maybe till the 7th year he has been always giving me some flowers or a little gift for our anniversary or san valentines, also for my birthdays he always been very thoughtful to surprise me with things I like. Since I had our son 4 years ago, he has totally changed like if I am not important anymore, he does not make the effort anymore to surprise me even in my bday he bought some backpack because I started a new job and some cozy socks for home..... and now for valentines he asked me if we are going to vuy each other anything and I told him maybe not but I was thinking about expensive gifts no... but maybe a little thing like a flower it will be very nice but he did not make any effort even he knows I like it.... Anyway, he has argued a lot because I told him it would be nice to have some flowers and he started to tell me it's my fault because I said we are not going yo buy anything to each other, that its a silly thing, I need a therapist because it is not normal to get sad for this things and that we been so long together what Can I expect etc etc. I just feel very sad he does not thing about me that way anymore and I think even if we are together for long there is no excuse to make feel loved and appreciated the other person.... Also I just want to mentioned another red flag I saw it was in our wedding, I said a really nice toast to him in the ceremony and he didnt say nothing to me he didn't prepare anything I was very shock as I was expecting aome nice words in pur day. I told him and he said the same, that it ia a stupid thing for me to get sad and I need a therapist because I am crazy... I just feel we are not the person for each other anymore, I should not be comfortable thinking I just have to live wih a person like that but in the other hand I just think in our son and I don't know what to do , I feel very unhappy .
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You are not crazy for feeling sad about it. Every lady deserves to be loved and to feel loved. A lot of women are going through this and it’s just a game of endurance. Hoping that one day, God would turn their hearts around and they will be that man that once loved us. For the sake of your kid…hang in there mama. Might just be a phase. It helps to take your mind off it/him a bit. Like make some friends and hang out with them or make memories with your kid.. Read or listen to good stuff. Fingers crossed, I believe in you.

You do not need to stay with a man uf you are unhappy. If he can't change, you won't be the one letting down your son, he is already letting him down! He should treat you like a queen, you gave him a son! Stay strong and feel free to message me anytime x

It sounds like he could be gaslighting you, or maybe that he genuinely believed that a backpack & socks would be a good birthday present and that you really meant no gifts on valentine's day. Before giving up I would suggest having a conversation where you acknowledge that your expectations of each other seem to be drifting apart and that you'd like to get back on the same page, because it's making you sad and frustrating him. Tell him what you miss and why, but also remember to listen to it from his point of view and try to understand. Then you might be able to come up with a plan for you both to work on to make you both feel better. Good luck

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