Parenting
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stay stern, tell him “no, that hurts mommy” or something like that. i remind my daughter to have gentle hands and take her hands and gently rub them where she hit me, or do gentle hands on her. if she continues to hit i’ll put her down or move away, that usually works too. and it’s definitely a phase that shouldn’t last long
I think you're on the right track by stating your boundaries and not allowing the behavior anymore. If you say "no thank you!" But smacking continues (gotta give grace for the slower processing time too), that means mommy puts him down and he will make that association because we know those little monkeys do not like to be put down. It may also be a good moment to redirect that smack into a "high five" smack instead...where there's praise and positive reaction.
I second the redirection or set him down thoughts. It models appropriate behavior while removing him from inappropriate behavior. I’d also recommend trying to discern triggers. My daughter acts out much more when I’m on my phone or cleaning and not paying attention to her. It signals to me that her love cup isn’t filled. Usually sitting and reading a book together or doing some snuggles for 10ish minutes dashes the bad behaviors, and she plays independently well afterwards usually. I’ve been told consistency is key and eventually we’ll bear the fruit! 🤷🏻♀️ That said, it’s so frustrating, and I fail a lot. Pray for Gods grace to navigate this well and try to have patience 😅 🙏🏼
I remember a parenting class I helped with at work having a sign up that said "The behavior that gets attention gets repeated." Have you tried immediately putting him down and walking away without a reaction? That might be worth trying if you haven't. Also there is a book series called Parenting with Love and Logic and they have a toddler version (Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood). The Love and Logic concept is all about giving kids natural consequences so they know what they are choosing, but you are still showing them love and support as they deal with the natural consequences that they chose through their actions.
Oh and also, one more thought, as kids get older, having them do "redos" or find ways to "make it better" builds the muscle memory of the positive behavior. My first is still a baby, so take my advice with a grain of salt- I don't have personal disciplining experience yet; this is just my training from working with families in child welfare for years. 😊
At 12 months we had the same issue. I would set baby on the floor and/or stand up. She would cry and I would let her cry for about 30seconds then pick her up and repeat as needed. She soon learned.
Less screen time. After praying for the night, I read a children's Bible every night. It seems to help me with my kids. I've seen lots of changes for the good doing this. Also just being mentally present and talking to your little guy. He will feel important and stop hitting.
I'm in the same boat, I feel kind of lost with disciplining I think since my husband and I came into our blended family having two very different parenting and disciplining styles. My children are a little bit older, twins are almost 3 and my oldest is almost 4, but what I've learned is that children, being Sponges, learn by the example being given to them and from repetition. If you smack his hand away when he hits you, you're only reinforcing it's okay for him to hit, because you're doing the same thing. Have a repeated action you take every rime he hits you that isn't smacking his hand away, like putting him down. It will take a couple times but he'll learn that hitting means being put down, and make that connection which should hopefully help the behavior. Since my kids have gotten older, I remove them from the situation, have a conversation with them about it and relate it to something they can understand, and have them repeat it back to me. It just takes some time
Honestly, I’ve just started placing him down when he doesn’t stop hitting me and then we try again. I used to tap his little hand but I saw a thing that all it does is teach them to hit when angry or frustrated. So instead of showing that example I just remove myself from the situation or redirect with a “high five” and he can repeatedly hit my hand as much as he wants over and over again. Sometimes he even picks it back up to high five! It’s just things that happen with age, I’ve also noticed he wants my attention more and more and gets frustrated when we don’t understand what he wants so I try to level with him and ask. Or exhaust all my options and THEN when he doesn’t stop smacking or hitting I place him down and reset!