Advice

It sounds like there's an issue with communication between the two of you, if he's asking you not to do something it should be an adult conversation not a verbal assault so that is a big concern. On the actual subject of the camera, I would not be at all happy with my husband watching me on cameras and would never ever do that to him. I absolutely see where your partner is coming from here. Do you not trust him? Could a compromise be found where if you want to know how the kids are doing you send a message and he responds with a picture or message? It's creepy to know someone could be watching at any time, judging your parenting etc. I don't think it's OK to do, others might feel differently.

My ex was abusive and this behaviour from your partner has all my alarm bells ringing - sounds very much like gaslighting to me, and I would be very concerned as to why he so desperately does not want you to see what is going on when you’re not there

I don’t see a problem with not having the camera turned off, it’s not like your watching it all day while your at work, plus it would be nice to see your family while at work. If I was your husband I wouldn’t have a problem with it because I wouldn’t be doing anything wrong. I think you are not wrong at all. But some communication could be improved on his end, you can’t verbally abuse someone for that, sounds really upsetting sorry you’re going through that.

I would be pretty irritated if my partner watched me and the kids on the camera. I’d feel watched & untrusted. I don’t need that feeling of being watched that’s super creepy. But as a mum, I know how much it means to pop onto the camera to check in and watch your babies. So I can see both viewpoints. There is a break in communication and I don’t believe either of you are in the wrong. Why can’t you contact him to send a video or pic of the kids instead? This seems more logical especially if he doesn’t like being watched via camera

We have 11 cameras in our home primarily because we work with Nannie’s, mother helpers and my husband doesn’t have an issue with cameras being on 24/7 we both don’t . It’s also helpful when we are home with our children together even and they’re in other rooms as we’re able to see them without having to physically go there. It would certainly be an issue for me / a red flag if any adult was uncomfortable being in our home due to our cameras. & we have people over all the time. Cameras are everywhere in society in this day and age there’s no getting away from them as you can’t request that they be taken off. However granted this is each of your home and both of your names I assume is on the deed lease so I imagine that there needs to be some sort of compromise however this would be suspicious and a red flag for me personally. Sounds like there are underlying issues within the marriage brewing elsewhere but I would personally be adamant about being able to have cameras on my children

If I felt that I needed to/ it’s in my best interest to. A misconception for many I think is that people who have cameras watch them 24/7 and while this may be the case for some I suppose the reality is people only look at them as necessary for seconds it’s not that big of a deal for me personally also I’m assuming they he also has access to them . In our home my husband doesn’t because he doesn’t care to/ can’t be bothered with looking at it / managing it out of sheer preference but he’s completely on board with having them on at all times with little ones in our home / in the back yard -we both are. For us we view it as a plus/ very helpful

Personally I hate having the cameras on in our house as it does feel like a violation of my privacy although technically I can turn them off if I thought about it. It’s more for safeguarding with my teen son than anything else.

Maybe he wants some alone time to watch porn and mess with his ‘you know what’ when the kids aren’t around. Who knows 🤷‍♀️ I personally like privacy but understand the security of a camera. Sounds like theres a compromise to be made either way.

I’d be worried to why he really wants the camaraderie off. He shouldn’t mind them on if he’s innocent. And if my partner verbally abused me or said he’d leave I would tell him where the door is. I wouldn’t put up with it. He wants to go through the door i would hold it open for him.