WHAT SHOULD I DO??

Is it the same illness every time?

@Jasmine-Lei its always a cold. Runny nose, cough, sneeze etc. We know her mom lives dirty so we believe its coming from over there with her mom not cleaning…but who knows.

Sounds like kids immune system is low. It's no cure but maybe give smoothies with added vitamins to her kid. How old is ur lo

Most likely is from the dirty home, it will prevent her from being able to recover. That is effecting her welfare, you need to talk to the mother, and if nothing changes then you need to go to child services, as it’s going to seriously affect her health

@Leelee lo is 9 months. I give his daughter pedialyte and vitamins when she is over here She starts to feel better before she leaves, but as soon as she comes back, she’s awfully sick.

That's awful can't u ask bd to send the vitamin with her when she goes and tell her to take them every day ... if phone calls are aloud let bd call kid every day and just slip into convo her chicken did u take ur vitamins ... again it's not a cure and I'm sorry ur in this situation

Okay so kids DO get sick. If the 3 year old recently started daycare, or is around other kids often, she’s more likely to be sick. Does your boyfriend have rights? Who the heck care if his child’s mother is crazy. What kind of man is AFRAID of her, but ok enough for her to have primary custody of their child? He can take his child to the doctor. In fact, either one of you can! Also what’s every weekend you have her? Is she with you guys every weekend? Or is it 1-2 weekends a month? There just could be so many reasons and it’s not necessarily because her mother’s home is dirty or she’s being neglected. Most parents have gone through this

There’s just this idea that the child’s mother has to be the issue but you have a 9 month old with a man that has a 3 year old. So when you met, he had a baby? And somehow somewhere this is where you both ended up. No court, no custody? How do you know her house is dirty? Have you seen it? And if that’s the case, why has your boyfriend not tried to get custody of her before you even had your baby?

He needs to take her to the doctor and document the mom going crazy for taking her to the doctor. That’s grounds for cps to get involved.

@Monét honestly my child is usually sick now because she’s in nursery plus it’s freezing in the UK. So she always has a runny nose and a cough. And my home is always clean. You’re right there could be other causes. I didn’t know a dirty house could cause a cold?

Guys I’m smart, i went to school I read up on a lot of things, yes a dirty house can make someone sick. Yall think im exaggerating but im not. Yes ive seen her house, hoarder, flies, dirty pampers on ground a death smell old food on ground, (kids put any and everything in their mouth) etc. theres obviously alot yall dont know but just not enough time to explain

@Gifty a dirty home can just exacerbate the issue. Or if surfaces aren’t being cleaned then germs and dust are just being tracked from outside all throughout the home or if there’s an actual health risk, it can cause respiratory illnesses/infections for sure.

School or no school shes ALWAYS been sick. And no one cares to see what it could be. Normal or nor normal wouldnt you care to just know? I guess not in this case

@Private so why is he not fighting for custody? It honestly sounds like your boyfriend is blaming the mom for being crazy and all this but only has his daughter on the weekend. And if I read correctly, it’s you that primarily takes care of her. I know it’s not possible to put everything in 1 post, but that’s why I asked a bunch of questions lmao

@Monét we didnt know it was an issue until a tad after the fact and bd didnt want his duaghter in the system. I cant make him do something he dont wanna do

@Private he doesn’t want his daughter in the system? Girl are you believing this. What system? Court? Because he should explain that so you can hear his explanation makes no sense. It’s sounding like a classic example of a man who doesn’t do shit to take control of his situation but wants to complain about his child’s mother. You can’t force him to do anything but you should also look at this situation for what it is. You’re more bothered than he is. He is the issue..

@Private eww that’s nasty then she shouldn’t be living there

@Monét we already established he was part of the problem which is why we not together…which is what i mentioned in the original post. Im just still in it cuz we live together until end of lease. I care for ALL kids so mine or not, i want her to be okay.

And yes I believe it cuz I’ve seen allt first hand. I don’t go by what he tells me I go by what I see as well. He doesnt have a car anymore since he wrecked it so he tryna wait until he gets another so he can be fully prepared to go after her in court.

@Private I understand that. So I’m trying to figure out what you’re asking here.. You seem to have an issue with everything being said lol

Okay so which is it? He doesn’t want her “in the system” or he’s waiting for a car so he protect his daughter and her safety? He doesn’t want full custody of that child lol. The believing him part was only about his comment about not wanting her in the system

@Private but why does he have to wait for a car? His child’s living environment is not suitable or safe for her…

Honestly (and this is no shade to you) but how the hell was he with her if she’s that disgusting? Like did they live together? Did she just have a psychotic break? 😭

@Gifty the same thing I say!! I pick her up and drop her off so thers no issue at this time…until our lease up and I move on. But like wtf is wrong with his thought process to think thats more important?!?!

@Monét the only question i was asking is opinions on what to do about MY DAUGHTER keep getting sick because of HIS daughter thats all. Everything else is fluff to the story. Break the lease and leave? Talk to the mom since Dad aint doing shit. Im only here for opinions on what other people would do…

@Private seems to me that he doesn’t want to take responsibility for his 3 year old. And that’s a red flag in my eyes. I would move.

@Private take her to the doctor… I said that. How can you stop a baby from being sick that’s exposed to someone sick? You say the mom is so unstable, so if you think it’s safe to talk to her, I’d do that too. But the best solution would be for him to get off his ass. Shit call CPS if you feel like you need to.

And tbh I would leave him right tf there. You know he’s not gonna take you to court so I would just leave lol

@Monét he said she wasnt like that until they broke up and he was getting himself prepared to leave

Why don’t you make a private call to child services when she goes back to her BM? Like get someone to do a wellness check up. Then they will be able to send her support or something. He may say she’s crazy because that’s what he wants you to think, but she could also be struggling herself mental health wise?

yeah he should get custody, you should want to die for your kids like whats she gonna do really? if not report to cps for this horder stuff

I’d take the kid to the doctor & not take her home & speak to the mum. Who the hell cares if the mums ‘crazy’ she’s clearly not taking care of her kid properly & neither is he

@Katy yeah my fiance says I'm crazy, and controlling etc. All because I told him to stop being around degenerates because it's unsafe for our kid and he can't act like one either and be a father that he had to choose. So he keeps saying he chooses me and then when I snap on him because he's going behind my back on shit im the "crazy" one. Honestly all I was asking for was for more support especially when he doesnt work a normal job but does odd jobs on cars and crap with these people. Doesn't bring much if anything home to show for it and it's me and my family doing majority for our daughter. Yet he claims he does a ton. 🙄 I mean he does a little more than some of the women's baby daddy's I've seen on here like when he is home hell help clean up a little and sometimes feed and change her and play with her. But it isn't enough for a medal like hes claiming he's doing. And he doesn't see it the way i do. So it leads to arguments. Pp has been HELL for me and I've damn near lost it from so much emotional abuse.

@Kelly Mae girl I’m sorry to hear this! While we all dealing with postpartum we always get picked the crazy ones. Just stay strong. I feel as the weeks/ months go on it might get slightly better. At least you have your family around you to help heaps. There’s also no harm going to seek a little help of you feel like your struggling

There isn’t really much you can do to stop your daughter catching the illnesses from her sister. If we’re around sick people we get sick too. Can’t your ex take over the lease allowing you to move? Personally I’d try and get myself and my baby into a new home and out of that situation and then I would make a referral to social services. That little girl is being neglected living in squalor that’s impacting her health. As you said you don’t just care about your own child you care about all children and as adults we have a duty of care if we know a child is being mistreated or abused - which is exactly what is happening to this little girl, abuse! She is living in squalor and her parents are failing to seek medical attention and it’s impacting her health, and will only get worse. If the mother is as bad as you say she is there doesn’t seem much point in talking to her for her to become confrontational with you. Hope you manage to get this sorted