A bit confused?

I love my baby daddy, we’ve been together for a few years but I don’t know if I’m IN LOVE with him anymore? He left to go back to work abroad a few hours after I gave birth because he couldn’t stall it anymore so I kinda feel like a single parent. He’s home 3 months out of the 12 every year and that’s towards the end of it I’m paying the bills for everything till he starts getting paid but I’m a month post partum and the stress is piling on. There’s only so much I can do with my maternity pay, it doesn’t even touch the sides of my rent/ utility bills/ council tax etc. i run out of money as soon as I’m paid and have to rely on my sister and dad to help me with my babies needs, I hate it, I feel like I’m burdening them even though they constantly tell me I’m not. My house barely has any furniture apart from the stuff my baby needs. I make sure she’s complete even if I don’t have the luxury of having nice and proper things. I don’t know if I’m losing feelings because I feel unsupported and like I’m doing everything on my own or if I’m just being silly and it’s a blimp? I keep telling myself it might be the hormones or just pp depression but idk anymore. I feel like he adds no value to my life. Not even in a materialistic way but i emotionally don’t feel connected to him as much. I feel like i can do it on my way so what’s the point of having him there? He adds no value to my life anymore. We barely speak and if we do it’s 5-30 minutes in the whole 24 hours. I don’t want to hold on just for my daughter to not have a broken home but maybe that’s exactly what I’m doing Sorry for the long rant, just felt like I needed to get it off my chest, even if it doesn’t make any sense to anyone else

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Did you know and understand he works abroad and had this schedule or is this something totally new since having a baby? If you agreed to it, and understood that's what you're signing up for then maybe you didn't totally prepare ahead of time to be a single but taken parent. I get it cause my baby daddy is never around even though we're "together" hardly gives me money or buys her necessities he tries but he doesn't work so he has to do a day or two of side work to get necessities and its mechanic work so it's tolling on his body with no real pay off at the end. I told him while I was pregnant I wasn't planning to stick around if that's gonna be how he lives and can't get a real job. But here I am me and my stupid heart still with him 10 months pp just so she can have a "dad" she loves him and now she's recognizing him and gets happy to see him. But I definitely feel regretful so I decided I'm just gonna go live my life the way I need and want to and if he shows up for stuff cool but im not waiting on him to

Do anything anymore. So try that maybe just take care of yourself do some self care to the best you can and let your loved ones take care of you and just appreciate em. ❤️ i know it's hard cause you want a partner. But have a convo about it and see where he's at and see if he can get a job back home first so he can have the opportunity to help before you just kinda go off and do your own thing.

Are you in the UK? If so you can sign up for Universal credit, dependant on your circumstances you will get help for rent atleast whilst on maternity leave / when you go back to work aswell. There is also a grant available for new mothers (£500) that you will need to sign up for ASAP, child support payments etc, paid weekly… the financial burden is a lot but it’s something you will need to sort out asap to lessen your stress, for the rest of it, you will need to think l in g and hard for your own happiness and your babies happiness, sorry mumma 🥰😓

I completely get it, I wouldn’t be in love with someone I only seen 3 months out of 12 either! If you can do it all on your own then you might aswell, probably be less stressful and you know where you stand. Must be difficult bringing a baby into the world at the best stage and not being able to share it with him tbh I think that would make me resent him 😭 sending you love and strength!

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