In-laws visiting your newborn

I struggle with the same thing. know my MIL in come over a lot cause she lives nearby, my SIL and her kids live further away so I’m hoping to get the first month to myself and not have her plan a convenient visit to her parents’ during that time and then pop in. My family lives abroad (well technically I do lol) and I have requested they wait a month as well.

I actually really enjoyed having visitors in SMALL doses. I told my husband that l when his family came (I told mine too) that they could only stay for a couple of hours max and I would be hosting a massive lunch etc. a cup of tea and maybe some cake if your lucky.. everyone was pretty respectful of that

I think if you want your family to visit and your husband wants his to visit, then you'll have to either accept visitors from both sides or neither. As for breast-feeding, you can cover or leave the room if you don't want to feed in front of people. That also can give you a bit of a break from people and some quiet time with baby, which might be a good thing anyway. Agree some boundaries with your husband that apply to both of your families and try to be a team. People will always give advice or their own experience when it comes to babies. Maybe just decide beforehand some polite but firm responses to shut down any conversations you aren't comfortable with.

I think you and your partner need to chat and discuss what you are both comfortable with and come up with a plan, don't be afraid of saying no to people. Tbh when our LG was born Nov 23 we were happy for everyone to come round separately but we reached the point of people taking advantage and coming every day and reached the point of no call before hand so we got rather annoyed. We are due our 2nd in may and we've not told anybody yet that no one is welcome unless we say. I think out of everyone mine and my partners mum are the only 2 people I want around at all until when we say and untill we give the go ahead for others. That's only because neither of them took advantage, his mum was soo helpful to us and me during our first and came to help during labour and she's always on call for us now, she even went all over the place to do some post partom shopping for me when I needed it and my mum because she lives further and didn't get the chance to be there as much at the start for our LG.

I think it’s entirely up to you. I had my family over quite soon because I’m close with them but my partners side waited longer to come. Firstly I hardly knew them but also there would be two small children’s coming and I knew it would be too much. I found the visit very difficult, my partners dad held the baby for long lengths of time and so did my partners sister. I was a new mum and found it hard to control the situation as the sister with kids felt she knew better. In all honesty I hated the visit even though it was five weeks after the birth. I leaked everywhere because no one gave me time to feed but this time round I feel more in control and will tell them when to come after the birth when I feel ready. I think it’s crazy to have to tell people before when they can come as you have no clue how it will go or how it will feel. It’s your special bonding time and don’t let anyone control that.