Heavy load on women‘s shoulders?
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@Stephanie thank you for talking about the struggle! We don’t have family here, so it’s hard to find someone to ask for help.. I do see what you say about more chores and I wonder the same… is it less work without a man?
Probably. Or one less manchild to deal with.
@Stephanie probably less cooking and cleaning up after the manchild..
What part of the state are you in
I think about this all the time
@Stephanie Florida, Tampa!
@Nevaeh I‘m glad we‘re not alone in this
It’s a lot sometimes. Back in the day generations of families lived together or very close by so you had a village to help raise the kids. In indigenous cultures, the mothers all team up and raise the children together. Here in America we are moving further and further away from all of that. Thankfully I do not have to work as that was an agreement my husband and I made with each other. I stay home and homeschool the kids and he goes out and gets the dough. We do have business systems in place to get us to a financially free place to where I can pay people to help more but right now it’s just us. I moved 1500 miles away from any of my family but even when I was close to them, I hardly had help. I live in FL now close to his family, but it’s the same thing. Everyone is doing their own thing…no village. But as humans we adjust and do our best. Trust me, I have break downs and thankfully I can pull myself out of them and I do have the support of my husband.
I honestly don’t think mothers should be working at all outside the house (if you don’t want to) but the way society has it you are forced to because you can’t pay for things with a 9-5 unless you are getting paid really well. I would say, make sure to carve out that time for yourself. Self care is key. Do whatever you can to have that time for yourself whether you workout, have a bath, meditate etc. make sure you have that time for you to do the things you enjoy. That’s so important for your mental health. Everything else will fall in place.
@Athena you‘re speaking out of my heart! A friend and I were dreaming about teaming up as well, but unfortunately we live too far away. It‘s so good to hear that there are cultures that do it this way and I’ll definitely look into that! Our families live in Germany, so I often wonder if it would be easier if they were here or we there. Thank you for the insight that having family close by does not always mean being supported. We have a business as well, so my husband works from home and I work a few hours from home to support (mainly just messages to clients or phone calls, so pretty flexible). He can help a little bit, but you probably know how men are 😂 their genes are not compatible with mothering 😅
Wow Germany! That would be great if they are great support with the kids. A lot of times with families, everyone has to be on the same page to live that way but today, it’s really not like that. Everyone has their own life. No fault to them, it is what it is. My husband actually is great at fathering lol sometimes he’s better than me as I loose my patience a little too fast sometimes. He’s cool calm and collected and also the disciplinarian parent. He is just really good at it lol but still if you look into indigenous cultures, the men band together with the boys and go out hunting and teach the boys to be men, while the mothers band together to teach the other children how to do everything else. Cooking, gardening, making clothes etc. It’s beautiful when there is support. Not so much stress on one person
Deff too much and I only have 1 baby idk how people have more than 1… I should also say my bf is like having 3 teenage boys. So basically I’m raising 4 kids . Yeah this life is not for me. I’m not gonna make it very long lol I can barely take care of myself… max I can do is me and my baby … I can’t do the whole housewife cooking cleaning perfectionist. Nope !! I have literally not cared about anything else other than me and my baby and if that ruins my relationship then so be it. Cuz I rather lose my relationship than myself
@Luz thanks for sharing. I feel like the way society is wired right now, women might break. Do we need a change or what?!
Oh yeah it’s not only the men conditioned by patriarchy but also women. We need to let go of those women expectations and create our own individual expectations that we have for ourselves
We all struggle with it. Most men don’t see what we do. We have to learn to ask for help. My pride prevents me from doing that most of the time but thankfully I have my mom to help. It’s probably one of the reasons why I’m single. I don’t look forward to more chores than I already have…