Just need to vent

So this morning was pretty normal, and I told my husband that he should come with me to my parents house because its been a while since hes seen them and he should come say hello. I have a very large extended family by blood, he's very anti social and hard-core homebody. I did tell him before that my family means alot to me and I get homesick alot because I miss them and I haven't seen most of them in about 7 years. We're the kind that pulls a party out of thin air for no reason and we love getting together to do events and activities together, the parties always have games, we have an annual Christmas party and father day event. And anyone that marries into the family is always welcomed with open arms. We've even adopted people who weren't so close to their own families so much so that people I thought were my cousins, are not actually blood related. But it doesn't matter because they still show up to all the family events and they are very much treated like one of our own. Well I made a comment about how he might struggle with a certain aspect either the noise or the amount of people or just something which it's been an ongoing conversation that we know my family is big, he'll need to go around and say hi and bye and do some socializing, we would be there for more than a few hours on average, but the end message is that it's always been important to me that he goes with me and that they mean so much to me and my excitement for him to experience one of our family gatherings. All of a sudden he starts talking about how he married me, and not my family. So he has no issue spending all his time with me, but that he doesn't want to go to every single one and that I'm not being mindful of his social battery and that I need to be more accommodating to his social needs and limits. Now, I never said he had to be the life of the party or be super involved in the activities. And I did tell him, I'm just asking you to show up, you don't have to talk to every single person and have a meaningful connection every single time. I honestly just want him to just be there with me as my partner and I love him and proud of his accomplishments so yea I wana show him off. But he made it seem like I was asking too much of him and to not expect for him to go so often. And honestly that kind of triggered me because all of my adulthood relationships never wanted to come and be apart of my family. And it has always upset me whenever that happens and I realize they actually have no interest in getting more involved in something that is a big part of me. My big family is part of my identity and I love them all very much. I was so upset I told him not to come to my parents, my brain just reset to when I had to deal with that kind of attitude with past bfs and I just didn't want him there if I felt like I was dragging him. Then I started to think about it more and I realized I have to drag him like half the time. I feel so low, so down. I didn't think it meant this much to me, and I could tell before I left for work that he knew he said something wrong. He tried talking to me about it, but I've had that conversation so many times before I didn't want him to be added to that list and I just kind of accepted it as like alright this is my life. I don't want to invite him to go with me anymore. I know he'll probably ask at some point and my anxiety and triggers will go off and I might start to get upset. My go to is to just back off and be on my own. And I don't want to do that. I just feel safer that way. I hate this.