I keep getting stressed out as sister in law keeps calling my baby her baby and how she will dress in matching outfits with it when it comes and how she’s going to not let it do this and this already setting rules i feel so stressed its my

I think your best move it to create your list of boundaries from now, like not kissing on the lips, until your ready no one will be taking your baby anywhere without you been present. Then at the bottom of the list simply write, if these boundaries are broken low contact will be established

lol I’m noticing that this bothers a lot of ppl. I come from a culture that when someone loves u, they just kinda claim ur kid & Im guilty of doing this to some family Members. Its really completely harmless trust me, bt we jus find ourselves gravitating towards a certain families members baby lol. Ur SIL prolly jus loves ur brother and this is jus her way of showing it lol bt now that im a mom myself i can see how uncomfortable it can be for new parents especially for a mom cuz we are so territorial lol bt I see a lot of post & comments abt this. lol and I promise u, ur baby is jus loved. Gosh I feel so embarrased knowing that i used to be some1 like SIL how cringey 😬bt it all jus means ur baby is extra loved by Family members & relatives X

Bt also I wanna say, trust ur mom instincts lol. 😂 even tho family members like me exist, it’s still not okay & u shud definitely set boundaries & ur feelings are definitely valid!

I can’t believe people are really getting worked up over petty stuff like that!! It’s nothing but love!! Why does that bother you!! They obviously knows that it’s your baby!! But when someone is showing you that they love your child like it’s their own!! You should appreciate that! Like omg!🥴

“Family members like me” 😅💕 Incognito - what is the tone she is saying it with? Is she warm/pleasant towards you also? ….as in is this someone who is just getting excited and carried away? Or is it someone possessive/excluding/jealous etc?

Aww I understand this completely I’ve even had ppl (my baby grandmother) do this while she’s already here. I just take it as u can think whatever u want doesn’t mean your going to be entitled to all of these things ur saying. At the end of the day it’s ur baby and what u say goes.

@Jay💖 when your a first mum you get stressed out over these things especially when I haven’t put the full story about how they’ve been acting and how they’ve been tellin me how I should act when my kid comes into this world it’s unfair u say I should “appreciate it” and find it “petty” when woman who are already going through depression during birth are scared about every little thing

@Alina thankyou! I’m just trying my best I get they may be excited but it’s my first experience too and the way they make it seem is that I’ll be a terrible mum and that I need them which isn’t the case honestly idk it just stresses me out

@Rosa more possessive and jealous a mother instincts is always right and I just feel these people have always been weird with me and now they will want full control of my baby

Dont stress, I get it, its you baby no matter what anyone says, take everything with a pinch of salt, a lot of people talk the most but when baby is here not many stick around. Also if you get on with her and generally like her then try embrace it, it’s lovely when extended family shows ur baby love and it helps you out in the long run. Me and my SIL had babies 23 days apart, mine is my 3rd, hers is her 1st, she wouldn’t allow anyone to visit until after mine was born and not allow anyone to hold her baby, if any one made a loving comment, she would be rude and say no one should say that its her baby. Anyways mine was born, my rules no kissing, wash hands, if you have a cold or anyone at home please give it 2 weeks, please do not smoke before u come. Now that SIL gets pissed off and angry why no one comes to see her baby but they always come to us, I love seeing how much love my little one gets. Remember everyone has their own lives ur SIL will not get in the way.

@Aart thankyou 🫶 im having the first baby in the family and i get maybe they’re excited but at the end of the day its my baby my experience and they will go on like they will take my baby wherever they want that i wont be allowed to tell my child off when its naughty that if its a girl she will be strict with her and how she’s will take my baby without askin me coz its her baby as well thats not okay to me!

Yeh it’s not fair to just tell you to blindly appreciate her input, when no one knows what her approach is or intentions are. If she is trying to undermine you and diminish your ability - rather that be supportive and excited for you having your new family - you’re going to need to establish some boundaries. I hope your husband/partner supports you and listens to you in this. Also hope you have your own family somewhere close by/accessible or close friends etc.

@Rosa thankyou for that 🫶🫶 my partner has basically said that let them think what they want once that baby comes no one will be doin what they think they will because it’s our baby and there’s no point getting into conflict bout it now and stressing myself out which already I am Bcs i developed a fear of them basically taking my baby I feel I don’t trust them as only when they found out im having a baby they started treating me less like a outsider and this is why I don’t believe their intentions are pure 😢

That’s great you have your partner’s support and that he is trying to reassure you. That’s more than half the battle. So get on with your life, and focus on what you want to positively focus on. If you focus on this negative issue it will just increase in magnitude. You will be giving it more and more energy if you focus on it. Be confident in preparing for your baby. That will come across - and will then make your family unit stronger. If you focus on this nonsense input, it will no doubt start to impact on your relationship. Maybe try to make a few light heart jokes when they make comments about taking your baby - eg “just try it”, then smile at them 😅. It’ll take the heat out of it, and they probably won’t know what to do with that - and you may have some fun with it - and instead of becoming a very tense atmosphere where you are anxious and fearful, you will be feeling a bit more in control.

@Rosa 100% u are so right sometimes it takes hearing it from someone else to get that reasurance 🥹 i deffo need to ignore it and just remind myself no one can do what they want with my baby because ill have my partner not allowing them to do so too i just hate that they’ve made everything about them they don’t care to know how im doin all they say to me is hurry up and have the baby !☹️

Either way you’re the mom so you have to enforce boundaries and not be afraid to protect your child or say no when people get out of hand. There’s a healthy way to love someone’s child but it only becomes a problem when you’re dealing with people who act possessive or say “no” when you tell them to hand you your child. I do think matching outfits and creating boundaries is weird though like I wouldn’t tolerate that but saying that’s my baby etc. isn’t an issue if I’m close with the person.

Some of you are too nice because I would literally tell her to get f**ked. If she wants to behave such ways she can look into the idea of having her own child.