Husbands ex

The whole thing makes me feel crazy.

I went through this as my husband’s ex-wife revealed to me that they shared a kiss when we were dating while he was picking up their kids and I didn’t find out about it until a year after it happened and we were already married. I know it was just a kiss but the fact that he could keep it from me for a year and keep coming home smiling in my face drove me.. I almost got an annulment! But yeah.. her socials became fair game because I wanted to see what else it was I could have possibly missed. I felt the need to seek evidence that more than just a kiss happened. I was looking for clues in her posts that might signal that something was going on.. it was crazy. I still haven’t really forgiven him.. I felt for a long time like he tricked me into the marriage. I stopped checking her pages after I stopped viewing him as the prize. I’m the prize. She’s somebody that, even if he goes back to her now, I’m still the best thing he’s EVER had and much more of a woman than she will ever be.

Unless you’re feeling intimidated by her, which I could understand because he cheated multiple times with her, there is no reason to keep checking her socials. You’re going to have to wean yourself off of her page.. knowing her information didn’t stop anything from happening when it was happening. The insecurity isn’t stemming from her but from your trust in him. That’s where the work needs to be put in. And honestly, if you already caught him with her and you got pass it, she’s probably the last person he would cheat with again. Not saying he will cheat again but that’s what you’re looking for.

@LeKenya thank you very much, I appreciate it🫶

@LeKenya every time I feel like I make progress in trusting him, he does something else. The last time was a year ago and he lied to me about talking to this other woman even though “they were just friends and he never cheated with her”. I don’t know what to do.

Unpopular opinion but you need to either accept that you’re with a man who is a philanderer and has the potential to cheat… or just leave him. The reason you’re keeping tabs on other women is because you’re in the middle where you’re kinda trusting him but kinda know something’s up. You can only be free one way. If you get what I mean. A lot of people have stayed after being cheated on many times and I’ve seen how it has affected them and chipped away from their happiness. Making them “crazy” if I could say so without any offence. Only some women manage it well by just accepting it and literally living their lives knowing that there could be others instead of chasing the truth each time. That’s why it’s hard to stay with a cheater. I would also like to say, a man that can cheat on his pregnant partner r many times is not a good man. I guess people can change and if you’re willing to stand by him that’s good too. Just don’t allow it to eat you up and change who you are x

This is why people leave when someone cheats. If you choose to stay, unless you're willing to completely let it go (get therapy to truly work on that), you're signing up for a lifetime of anxiety and stress worrying about if he's cheating again and what the affair partner is doing. What you're experiencing is a really reasonable and human response to the fight or flight introduced to your relationship by him being unfaithful. You can try therapy but I don't personally think it's worth trying to "fix" the fact that you're human TBH and I would instead end the relationship that is making you feel this level of insecure.

I gotta say, I’m guilty of this sort of thing. Not necessarily same situation but I definitely be creeping on people’s socials that I have no business creepin on. Curiosity? Nosy? Bored? Insecure? Idk. But I stay creepin

@Rio same! I don’t just do it with her, I do it with everyone lol. But doing it with her makes me feel crazy lol