Husbands mental illness is starting to overwhelm me…
Show your support
I feel for both of you here, I’m very much like your husband and the little tasks overwhelm me so much to the point I get into a massive panic, things trigger me like appointments, phone calls, money, bills, debts and hate changes especially in jobs. I know it drives my partner insane and I sympathise with you on that massively cause it’s not easy for you to deal with as his partner. I didn’t have a good childhood and was diagnosed as a child with anxiety and ptsd. I’ve gotten a lot better with it over time, with support from my partner who completely had to break things down for me and almost teach me how to deal with stress and remind me that if I don’t make changes my life will end up in ruins. Things like writing down what I needed to do, and to do one thing at a time and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Honestly i feel so embarrassed to even write this as it’s something I’ve always been ashamed of and no one knows that’s how I am apart from my partner and immediate family.
If you were to take a step back, no one would blame you cause as I’ve said it’s so difficult to deal with and you don’t need the extra hassle on top of everything else you need to deal with in life and you don’t deserve to go without or have to downsize your home because of someone else’s actions. I hope he finds a way to change for your family and I wish you all the luck and strength moving forward ❤️
I had PTSD for many years and it was very serious. My husband had to do EVERYTHING including taking care of our son and working to keep us afloat. I never gave up on me and I wanted to help and I wanted to change but nothing has been more difficult than getting out of that dark place. I’ve finally made it to the other side and I’m so grateful my husband supported me through that hell and never left me. What helped was the SGB shot. I go to ROSM in Maryland. You should look in to it for him maybe it’ll help. I wish you the best.
I really appreciate everyone’s guidance, kind words, and sharing their personal stories 🩷 each comment has helped me see things from a different perspective or gave me advice I’ll implicate moving forward. 🩷
I don’t mean to invalidate anyone but coming from the opposite end; I’m AuHD, cptsd, possible bipolar mix, and physically disabled. Everyone who commented, that I read, about their own issues said they were willing and able to overcome their issues. That’s amazing! I don’t want to downgrade or disregard your battles at all. I will say though that it’s not going to happen for some people. Some people live on the crutch as an excuse, don’t want to get better or be better, and use their imperfections as weapons. My original comment may come off as insensitive, as this one might be, but it is real and dangerous and I want everyone to be fully aware of it. I don’t know if it classifies as it, but should be a form of abuse if not. It will drive you insane.
@courtney absolutely I agree with your comment, as I know someone close to me who is exactly like this, and uses their mental state as a weapon, just completely refuses to try and help themselves and puts all the pressure on their partner. It’s sad cause she deals with a lot and has such a good heart that she sticks by him and does absolutely everything for him. It was constant guilt tripping, gaslighting and victimising himself. He would refuse me cooking dinner for them all as he only ‘likes and trusts’ his partners cooking when all I wanted to do was give her a break.. he couldn’t help with food shopping, with the kids or work cause his anxiety was too bad but could happily go to play darts at the pub with his friends and for tournaments, there’s so much more to it but yes 100% people do use it and abuse it and it’s so sad. This is why I said it’s absolutely okay to step away as people can take advantage and it’s tough for people to deal with even if they aren’t taking advantage
I’m sorry if this offends you bc having been and still in this situation, you have to take care of yourself. No matter how much you love him or want to help him, will actually do next to nothing. He has to want the help, he has to want the meds, he has to want to get better and make the changes. It’s not up to you and you’re going to burn yourself out and drag yourself down. You have to take care of you. If you don’t want to leave him then I would suggest at least taking a step back. You’ve told and shown him how it’s negatively affecting you and your family. He’s aware and doing nothing to change it. Focus on you and your kids, let him take care of himself.