❤️🩵☺️ I had depression anxiety when pregnant and after and a lot of my old friends blocked me . I feel so rejected . How can I be a friend everyone would want to be around. Ie what qualities should I try and have
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Yeah I agree with @Monét , I feel like there’s more context needed. It’s one thing to unfriend someone, but if they BLOCKED you…..that is a sign of something bigger.
I’m super nice I don’t do anything bad to people I way too into karma and was bullied as a kid and teenager my whole life for being petty women tend to treat me like that and that’s why i try super hard to be likeable I think me being to eager to be liked or to fill the silence makes me annoying.
Jealously is a seriously horrid thing, I’ve spent my life trying to dumb myself down at work to for whatever they assume me to be otherwise people literally hate you. I’ve had to actively be less friendly to men to not give them the wrong idea . And with women my god I’m always the one bending over backwards to make my friends feel great and to plan things ect and it’s never the same back.
I once had a group of girls jump me cut my hair short at school they used to bully me constantly for no reason send me death threats not to come to school ect , called me a nerd and id never even kissed a boy until i was 19 but all through high school was labelled a skank by them, I’ve had girls make up false rumours about me because a guy they had a crush on liked me. It’s been a horrid life and I’ve never known a real friend.
Offff, that’s a terrible situation. It does seem you are VERY eager for friendship, which can be a turn off for some. I myself am very introverted and do not really care much about having friends/hanging out a lot. But from what I do know, people who seem TOO eager/people who try to change their personality to get others to like them……unfortunately usually do not succeed 😔 it just comes off as uncomfortable for those around you. What I would advise you do, is just try to re-discover who YOU are. Many years of people-pleasing and personality changing can make it hard to remember who YOU are at your core. Make lists of things you like/dislike. Hobbies you enjoy/want to start. Then once you have a handle on that, find THOSE communities. It’s much easier to make and KEEP friends if you have real mutual interests/hobbies/etc. I know this may sound dumb/obvious, but it’s THE BEST place to start. I promise you as a person are likable JUST the way you are. You just need to find your people!
@Amanda I think this is it.
What didn’t help is I’ve had a dv marriage so if i bring it up I lose friends who find it weird . I live in the uk and I have “posh “ friends and you don’t bring up anything “unpleasant “ or people look down at you. Im a really nice person and I just feel like no one ever likes me or somethings wrong with me I can’t see
Oh I COMPLETELY understand this. I was in a DV situation for 10 years and finally got out 3 years ago. I also do not talk about this if I can avoid it (even though it’s a HUGE part of who I am as a person today and makes up 1/3rd of my life) as it makes people uncomfortable to hear. Especially considering most people will generally hear you say DV and instantly doubt your credibility or think you’re probably exaggerating (because sadly some women do cry DV when it never actually happened, and that makes us who actually went through it look terrible and like liars even if it’s true and we have proof).
What could help in that specific case, is find THOSE people. Join DV survivor groups or other types of support groups related to DV. This way you will have friends who can relate to THIS aspect of your life, and have a way to talk about it/have an outlet for that, while also still having your OTHER friends outside of DV that you can enjoy your other interests and hobbies with and not have to worry about discussing the DV part of your life with them! Having different friends/friend groups for each part of your life/personality and not just putting it all together on each person can definitely help both you and your friends!! 💜
You don’t need to try to be likable. I think you lost your friends not because of who you are, but how you were behaving. For them to block you makes me think you probably did some not nice things maybe? But they were friends with you because they like who you are.