Cheating is a relationship deal breaker so never have I ever stayed with a man after I found out they have cheated on me 🙋🏾‍♀️

I was young and dumb as hell. But once that frontal lobe developed I was outta there 😂😂😂

I've forgiven a cheater but I promise I'll never do that again

@Khyia yes girl! U ever just sit and wonder 💭 why was I even willingly to tolerate what I tolerated in our teens & 20s before that frontal lobe developed lol. I cringe at my own actions sometimes damn I was young, dumb, ignorant & naiive for sure lol! I’m trying my best to warn some of my little cousins in their early 20s to not make such permanent decisions like having babies or getting married with their unfaithful boyfriends! I hope they listen cuz they don’t wanna be my age regretting their baby fathers. I try to give some of them advice so they wake up before it’s too late 😭

@Jasmin uuuuugh no seriously the only smart thing I did was making sure I didn’t leave that relationship with any baggage lol well except my emotional trauma 😂 but no babies, no rings 😂

I have the same mindset you have. You cheat you’re gone! None negotiable

@Bethany I’m just curious mama, what made u forgive a cheater? Cuz I have flighter mode were I’ll jus leave bt my older sister forgives cheaters, currently she is married to Her husband (I refuse to call him my BIL) lol bt he constantly cheats on her bt I’m always asking her why she is still there bt the way she talks abt the cheating is as if its something she expects from men. So this is just out of curiosity, & asking for understand what personally made u forgive a cheater?

I tried to forgive a cheater, it didn’t work for us and we split. IMO he didn’t put in the work to fix the damage he caused and instead wanted to be the victim. Made it impossible to forgive. ETA - I was young and naive. I wouldn’t forgive a cheater now. Wouldn’t even try.

I have forgiven a cheater. But, we are divorced.

@Jasmin low self esteem, codependency, thinking I can't get another bf, thinking I deserve to get cheated on, etc. Very toxic stuff

I’ve forgiven being cheated on and now we’re married and extremely happy. It happened VERY early on in our relationship and I was 18 and head over heels in love with him, I couldn’t imagine not forgiving him. But he also put in the work and has stayed true to every promise he’s ever made me and I trust him 100%. I’m glad I forgave him and our life is wonderful and our beautiful girl wouldn’t be here. If it happened now that we are married and I’m the mother of his child? Unforgivable. I’d never forgive that level of disrespect to the vows he made me & the promise of a stable and strong family he made to our daughter when we found out we were pregnant.

I forgave my ex for cheating the 1st time, the 2nd time he did it he went on omegle and cheated with me sleeping next to him, even went as far as showing me sleeping.. will never allow a boy to treat me that way again.

I feel I view cheating differently than the average bear. I don't know how to describe it. For me, when it happened, forgiveness wasn't a question. It was just like a thing for us to get through. It took a while too. My man is the best... Why would I throw that away for a one time thing. If he was a serial cheater, that's different. I've been with guys who seem to cheat constantly. That's not my guy.

I only forgave a cheater when I was in my teens... but I would never disrespect myself that way again! Real though, I don't know what I would do without my husband if he chose to do something like that.

I’ve forgiven my partner for cheating, we were very young when we got together and it happened a couple of times in the first 5 years of our relationship, I won’t pretend I wasn’t incredibly insecure and was sure no else would want me but it’s been 18 years and I don’t regret it, I love our life. If it happened now I would have to seriously consider staying or leaving, his family is my family and if I left I would lose everything, that’s a lot to lose just because my pride is hurt, thinking about it right now I would stay

I’m too much of a psychopath to stay with someone who cheated on me

I guess technically? With my current partner in the beginning we never talked about what all we defined as cheating because I thought everyone had the same things, and it was universal. I was wrong 🤣 I personally think porn is not okay, and didn't express that until a few months in and he was like 'oh I'm so sorry I didn't realize that would be considered cheating to you, that's something I have done, but ill stop' he was just getting out of basic training after high school and is my only serious relationship in my life, so I still didn't realize at that point it's not all just a given for someone to know your boundaries, and that I need to tell someone my boundaries not assume they'll know bc then I have no right to upset when they've done something I never told them would upset me. Thats not fair, I'm the one who didn't communicate and they were missing information because I didnt give it. Some situations are really miniscule, I could never forgive actively talking to another real person or meeting them

When i was 18 I found out my bf was emotionally cheating on me with two women by having them send him sexy pics and had another emotional relationship with another girl. Imagine my surprise opening his phone and seeing a half naked pictures of a girl with a message happy Valentine's Day baby! I'm sure he was also cheating on me as he worked night shift and his shift ended at 10pm but some nights he wouldn't get home until 2am or 4 am. I lied and told him I forgave him. I was like the perfect gf for him and he was so in love again and then I cheated so he felt the pain I did and then broke up with him. I was petty.

People are capable of changing if they actually want to and out in the work. Most people do not. But I think it’s weird to shame women for trying to stay and work through something when you have no idea of their relationship

I done it in my younger years but never again it's a deal breaker without a shadow of doubt. I chose to forgive because he promised he changed, he pursued me for a few months and I caved. We lasted 6 months after that and not because he was unfaithful but he destroyed my trust, made me paranoid, searching pockets/phones, verifying you are where you say you are, I just couldn't continue and decided to call it a day. It's just not worth my sanity. Trust takes so long to build but a moment to destroy.

I forgiven my partner, am I over it? No.. I forgave because I love him a lot🤷🏼‍♀️ Would I stay if he did it again? Also no & I’ve made it very clear & made it clear that I will find out because I find out everything 😂😂

I’m not a very “black and white” person and overall recognize we’re all human—mistakes happen, and growth can also happen. It is definitely sad to see people be trapped in relationships with someone that doesn’t value them, but I definitely don’t view “cheating” as an immediate “deal breaker.” Every relationship defines cheating differently and I’d be more interested to know the reason behind why they chose to cross a boundary. If both people are willing to place their ego and insecurities to the side and invest in the relationship, seems like something that could be worked through. But maybe I have a lot more empathy for people in these scenarios because I got together with my husband when I was pretty young and there was a lot of mistakes I made in those early days that he gave me compassion through, and I have since extended that empathy back to him. We’re all human, being a repeat offender/not valuing the other person is a different situation though.

I was dickmatized 😭 I put myself through so much stress dealing with this dude I let him drive me crazy. I promise to never let a man ruin my peace again.

@Kato that's a good way to put it. It's not black and white. I know when my guy cheated, we were not in a good place. It was the straw that broke the camels back and made us pave a pathway to success rather than failure.

@Brittany this is me!! I’m way too psycho for all that cheating forgiveness stuff 🙃🙃 so for both our sakes please go ur way and let me go mine 🤣

For those that stay, how does it not replay on your mind constantly?! Knowing me every time we’d be intimate I’d think is this what u did with her u asshole and then probably flip out and bite his ear off or something 😫

My partner 'cheated' but not physically... Which is why I was very on the fence on forgiving... If it was physical... Never would I have forgiven him as it would have been in my head and I wouldn't have been able to touch him again... I was 19 and he was 27 when we got together, he had a 9 year old son who he had full custody of so it was a family unit (kid didn't see his mum) so after about 2/3 years together I found messages to Girls that was flirty but not dirty or rude or anything... But we had many issues with his son's behaviour and it caused alot of issues with our relationship... Not an excuse as such but kinda makes me realise he needed an outlet as I was the bearer of bad news constantly... 3 times I caught the flirty texts and told him the 3rd time next time I am 100% gone! We didn't have kids then... He has never messaged another woman since I know by his demeanor! It's how I knew something was going on (one I confronted on his bloody birthday 😂) then after our daughter was born I saw that he had

Created a only fans account but it was completely empty! Never paid no nothing he doesn't even remember making it... So I simply told him 1 more thing even the slightest thing I won't confront him I will just pack my shit and leave with the kids while he is at work... Since then we have deleted all social media (I didn't care for it anyway was just time wasting) and we are the best and the strongest we could ever be! Been together 15 years this year and other than that I couldn't fault him as a partner or a daddy

@Zaza lol know some ppl say its “hard to leave” bt for me it wud actually be “hard to stay” so its best for me to just chuck the dueces. I have this thing were I just don’t ever want to be a victim by choice in any capacity so everything & everyone I choose to allow into my life or relationship is by choice so accepting their actions (good or bad) is also a choice. And I just can’t overlook that type of deliberate bad behaviour cuz for me cheating isn’t a “mistake”. I believe some1 can still be a good person that makes bad decisions bt some decisions are irretrievably. Like there are some things that are unfortunately unforgivable & lying or cheating for me is one of them so if I’m in relationship with a cheat, I can’t willingly convince myself to stay.

@Zaza we’re one in the same 😂😂

@Courtney ur better than me sis! I wudnt even be able to forgive 😭 u really have a good heart

@Kato thank u for ur perseptive. Im really not a black &white person either on most things. I like to think there is ton a of grey area in life. I also try my best not to generalize & I think there is a ton of nuances! I also like when we can look at or find situations that are the exception 2 the rule cuz relationships arent a one size fits all. Bt for some reason when it comes cheating, I don’t seem to know how to look 👀 at it without black & white lenses. I just c it as deliberate & intentional hurt so idk how to ever forgive some1 who causes me hurt. Do they not value me? And I get that ppl cheat for many different reasons bt what is the reason to hurt the person u claim love & are with? Ur right every relationship does view the definition of cheating differently. Bt cheating is still cheating if boundaries were crossed. I’m jus like u, Im also interested in knowing the reasons behind y they chose to cross the boundary bt idk what is wrong me, I’ll listen bt I won’t ever forgive it

@Jasmin it is so so hard! But I also haven’t been perfect either, I haven’t cheated on him but I have done other things that have really really hurt him. Some days I think I should just leave it and we go our separate ways but we always end up back together