Partner Issues

Does anybody have any problems with their spouse when pay day rolls around? We're okay right before but then as soon as his paycheck drops, he makes you feel like shit bc he pays for a lot and makes you, the female, feel like all the financial burdens are our fault? I feel really good before but then he makes me feel so depressed after, as if wanting to be a mom to our baby is my fault. I want to get away from him but it's hard...

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Sounds like he’s not a partner. What would he want? Will he parent your child or pay for nursery if you were to work? Not saying that’s good option just / what is his ideal?

@Old Lady💃 I think he expects me to pay for everything regarding our daughter. Meaning her preschool when I start work soon. And since I'm not working yet, he feels "pained" to have to buy groceries for me too. I feel like we're on the last leg. If I were working and he needed something I would gladly buy him whatever. But if I need something, God forbid me even asking him. I just hate the way he treats me now as if I don't matter just bc I'm not working yet. I'm making all the efforts to go on interviews and I have one more tomorrow afternoon but it seems nothing is pleasing him anymore. I don't even want to do couple's therapy anymore...

Nope but he needs to realise it’s his choice to have your child too, take 2 to make a baby but also takes 2+ to raise one, maybe he should find a way to increase his income? At the end of the day someone has to provide for you and your children and someone has to raise them. You can’t do everything.

I am sorry you are going through this, and I believe no one should feel guilty for raising their own child in a safer environment. If you both agreed that you staying home will be beneficial for everyone then he should not be complaining or making you feel a certain way. However if you are struggling to pay the bills and he comes to you for help because he cannot pay everything by himself then that is a different story. However there are options, he can find a better paying job or find a way get more hours to make more. You should show him all the scenario to him, and see how much you guys save for you staying home. Daycare is expensive, clothes, gas. Etc. Do the math and see if that makes sense for you to work. If not, then have a serious talk about how he makes you feel when he does that. Because as the mother of his child he should also need to provide for you. You also deserve happiness, feel loved and cared for. All the best.

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