If you sleep with someone and fall pregnant …

And the man clearly says he doesn’t want the child and you decide to keep the child regardless , is it fair to then bash him about “not being there” for the child and how you do it all alone etc etc
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This one is especially for the Solo Moms

You know, you don't have to post EVERY thought... you can save some questions for therapy

Depends. If he slept with you using no protection and finished inside you then I’d be bashing him. Dont do that if you don’t want a baby💀🤣

@Laura 🍉🇵🇸✊🏻 she got me on this one, I have been trying to avoid all her posts by hiding them. This one I saw the "solo mum " on the comment too late 😅......

I'm just here to say sorry that people are being so aggressively mean in your comments. I don't know the answer. But why the hate towards someone asking genuine questions?

OP maybe make one post with exactly what type of support you need or advise you are looking for. It's getting confusing all these posts

@Sandi sadly she isn’t asking genuine questions, she’s been rage-baiting by shaming other parents across multiple posts.

Here's a positive post to get behind https://www.peanut-app.io/share/52enXX8jbRb

What part of the world are you in ? Are you not tired ? Is it bedtime or is it too early for this where you are ?

It depends if he pays child support. If he pays for child support then he's done his duty and he's allowed to not want anything more to do with the child. This goes both ways. There was a reddit post I read from a guy who was pissed that he was a single dad and had no help from the mum. Except he was the one who demanded she not have an abortion, and insisted he would take care of the baby as an alternative to abortion. She didn't like it but agreed. Gave him parental rights and paid child support + extra, but had no interest in actually having a relationship with the child. The guy went to reddit expecting he'd get sympathy. The comments roasted the absolute shit out of him 😂

He was present to have fun right ? Than he can be present for what may comes from it. Actions ~ consequences....

@Marie when I saw that comment, I lol so loud 😂

He doesn’t need to be there in person he just needs to support the child financially via child support if that route is taken bashing him doesn’t really do much for the mother other than add unnecessary drama / stress to her own life

I feel this post is very harshly worded. Some women don't believe in abortion, or believe in it but don't feel its something they could personally do. Just because she chose to keep the child doesn't mean she wanted a baby either. It's not the woman's fault for not aborting, it's shared responsibility for not using proper protection or shared bad luck that it didn't work. Either way the outcome is also shared responsibility and he should be financially supporting if nothing else.

@Sandi thank you for apologising , you’re such a sweetheart. This app is so cruel to those who have a difference of opinion / outlook . As you said I’m clearly asking a genuine question and look at the aggressive women I’m met with 🫤😪

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@Shannon but she wanted that as well💀

@Aurélie but only the mother chooses if she keeps the child or not. Bit unfair, in my opinion

sorry if you were being genuine and asking a question 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️ but after so many odd posts about solo mumming / parenting... they way this is phrased uh.. I think most of us assumed you're that person and were "aggressive" but yeah.. as you're not that person I don't think anyone was being aggressive intentionally it was a mix up 😹

If a woman sleeps with a man and gets pregnant and decides to keep it, then HE has to decide what level of involvement he's going to have. He has to take some accountability and responsibility for the outcome, regardless of the pregnant person's decision. What that looks like may be different. It may not be "fair" or "equal", but that's the price for making a human. And yeah, the pregnant person and care taker has a right to be disappointed in the actions and decisions of the man.

Also, there's been so many posts by Incognito just shitting on single/solo parents that it was a fair assumption they were all by the same person, and the community kind of had enough.

I let my baby dad go when he said he never wanted my son and i have done it alone since day one of pregnancy. I don’t ‘bash’ him but I still think he’s a prick 😂

If this is also the same person making all the posts i genuinely hand on my heart hope you end up a solo mum one day 😂

@Sandi please go through all her posts and tell me why you think it’s acceptable for her to bash us for being single/solo mums and then not think she’s gonna get backlash for it. If you think her words are acceptable you’re just as bad as her.

But what about the millions of women who are forced to have kids... That's the real question.

I wouldn't give a man a child if he wasn't my husband. I get that it happens, just me personally. I never believed an abortion was the right path for me, so I took all the preventative measures. Condoms, iud, AND cycle tracking. It takes 2 to make a baby, there are faults on both sides. He's not wrong for not wanting a child, he is wrong for not protecting himself. It's an unfortunate situation all around.

I haven't read all the comments.. But as women we get the final say as to whether a baby is bought into this world or not.. if he has stated from the offset that he does not want the baby and you decide to keep it, i think its then unfair to expect anything of him..

@Charni 100%! I am in this exact position. He said from the day I found out he didn’t want her. My decision was to keep her. My personal belief is in God, I do not believe in abortion. She was purposely sent to me and for a reason. I do not get any support from him, financial or otherwise. I do not complain, I do not bash him, I just do it. She is a blessing. His loss, not hers and definitely not mine. Best decision of my life! Be happy, enjoy and love your baby! That is what life is about.

Mixed opinions , because no he doesn’t to have to be involved if he doesn’t want to because he will be a bad father if being forced anyway. However having sex can’t be zero risk, so if needed money or to answer question to the child at any point, yes he should be present in my opinion.

Hit wrong answer. He didn’t wear a condom, he’s equally responsible

You’re joking right?

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I don't think it's helpful but it's to be expected if he expressly said he didn't want to be around. However, he should take some responsibility for the life he has helped create. Having sex is never risk free in terms of pregnancy.

@Jessica no women is forced to have a child.

If he has expressed he doesn’t wish to be a dad then nope , leave the man alone and deal with your OWN decision. It’s my body my choice until women want money.

Well if she chooses to keep it...he knew the risk of having sex, protected or not. He chose to have sex with her. And she is choosing to keep it. At the end of the day it's his child and he should give money to care for his child. But if he doesn't, then it is what it is. If she choose to continue with her pregnancy knowing he was not going to claim that baby then she also willingly chose to parent solo.

I have mixed feelings because you both did the deed however it was to cause you to fall pregnant, but he also has his say to walk away from it if it wasn't expected and the situation wasn't something where you two are a thing. It might still be a shock for him and he may come round. Who knows. Only time will tell.

@Helen ma'am, I specialize in this. It's extremely common. I find it disturbing when people say it's impossible.

It’s like saying you don’t want a job but yet you find yourself applying for jobs knowing that there’s a possibility(big or small) that you can land one and then not wanting to show up for work especially on the first day. I say that to say, he didn’t wear a condom, he could’ve declined having sex because we know sex unprotected can get you pregnant…even protected. The only way to not get pregnant and to not have any responsibility of a baby is to not have sex. If people don’t want kids , they simply shouldn’t have sex but temptations can lead us astray therefore we still have consequences …This isn’t about being fair or unfair(k what you asked). It’s mainly about responsibility. Y’all like to ask these questions or play these little games to try and make folks upset. Fuck the games, its responsibility for something you knew could happen. Period point blank. Yall do this to take responsibility off the other party.

The feelings of solo moms are valid. It takes 2 to tango, but women are the ones who face the consequences of pregnancy. Child support is not nearly as much as the mother will end up paying. If a man doesn’t want to pay child support, he needs to confirm the contraceptive and pregnancy contingency plans prior to baby making activities

He’s allowed to not want the baby but he does still have to take some responsibility. He helped create the child. He knew the risks when having sex.

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