I’m pissed 🙃

Also I’ve had no breaks because my 2 year old hasn’t been napping, and then my 2 year old and 4 month old have been up all night every night so I haven’t been getting any sleep or time to even chill after bedtime.

I’d be pissed too 🤨 what’s so hard about coming back home and helping your SO? Not a damn thing should be more important than helping put the kids down and getting them fed especially not around 9pm when you specifically asked for help this time and communicated what you needed

@Espy he came home and got mad at me for being upset that he didn’t stick to his word, so there’s that 🙃

You both agreed on something and he didn’t stick to it and then treated you like shit for pulling him up on it. You are not overreacting.

I’m learning .. kill them with kindness. But super sweet and empathetic with him. Maybe there is something more going on here ? Just ask him why he is staying out late? I don’t think it’s ok or fair but I do think a good talk would help

That’s gross 🤨 I hate when men are like that like dude grow up cause I didn’t make this family by myself

He’s literally only had a night out every 2 weeks. I would have stayed out later if you were blowing my phone up.

I get it’s less about him being gone and more about him not communicating that you. And seemingly not caring.

His reaction wasn’t mature at all, almost akin to gaslighting. The last thing I want to do is create stress and I don’t know your relationship obviously but if I was in this situation, I’d honestly start to wonder if he was cheating on me. You need to have a serious conversation because he’s not being a partner.

If he wanted to have beers with his coworkers, then he should have not got with you. It takes a whole team to raise children. This guy

Let him do bedtime alone while you go out and see how he feels about it

@SquishyMommy1 I don't think it's about him going out she is mad about. It's about him not coming home when he promised he would.

I clicked the wrong one. I meant the first one! That guy needs to grow up. I’ve just had a similar situation with my husband. I’m now at my parents with a one year old and a 3 week old for some space and he really sees he’s done no wrong.

I hate that they give the they need a break too. I’m literally living off 2 hours broken sleep each night still recovering from a c section but you need a break the guy who’s still been getting a full sleep every night even when you were off work for 2 weeks.

@SquishyMommy1 daum, you must be super mom then to be talking like that

I’d be livid. I’d lock him out and tell him to go f himself tbh

I’d be annoyed….But I’m big on fair. As in, he can stay home this Friday or Saturday night (whichever night is better/he’s not working/he’s not too tired) and he can stay home and do bedtime for 3 kids while I go out. You wanna go? Sure go. This week is my week. I’ll guarantee you he’ll call my sister over for help 😂💁🏻‍♀️ I do think both parents should still get to see friends and still have their outside hobbies, but be fair about it. Why does it need to be 7hrs? 2pm-9pm?! 😳 3-4 hrs out is plenty. Even 5hrs, he would’ve made it on time for bedtime. Sure these days I do go out from 7-12/1 but he sleeps through, hubby is not at home “struggling”, baby boys been asleep since 9 (and is easy to put to sleep) which is only 2hrs after I left. And still asleep until morning- me going out does not leave my hubby struggling. Fair is fair. He won’t ever know what it’s like to put 3 kids to sleep until he’s in that shoe. Put the shoe back on him and he might actually be home next time for bedtime

@SquishyMommy1 I never “blew up his phone” I texted him once asking if he’d be home soon because he told me he’d be home for bedtime and he replied very rude. I literally did not care that he went out, it’s the fact he said he’d be home to help me with bedtime as I’m sure 5 hours getting “a beer” is enough. I never texted him again as I was busy getting kids to bed. I see you have all older children. Mine are 4 months-4 years and require a lot of attention at bedtime. You sure know how to lift up a sleep deprived burnt out mom that’s trying to be a good wife but feeling taken advantage of.

@Kellie that’s what’s adds to my frustration a little is I literally cannot do that haha I have a 4 month old that’s nursing and still up every few hours and a 2 year old that literally won’t sleep unless I do her bed time and she still wakes constantly. So I’m burnt out. I’m trying to be a good wife still and want him to be able to go grab a beer with a friend, but for that many hours and not holding up to his word and knowingly making my life harder without caring really hurts! And then to get mad at me when I picked up all the slack so he could go makes me so frustrated.

@Siobhan I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It can feel so frustrating when everything is just expected of us. I get so burnt out running on absolutely nothing because i get no sleep, never get to shower or have a moment some, but I’m expected to just continue pouring from an empty cup. I hope you get some rest and help from your parents ❤️

@Kris exactly. I genuinely do not care that he went out, but we discussed beforehand how it was going to go and he didn’t follow through with what he said to me. I feel like he just disrespected me and doesn’t care that my night was more difficult.

Cheating ??!

I’m actually baffled by the comments. I wouldn’t be happy with my husband going out twice a week. I wouldn’t necessarily blow his phone up I’d just be gone. If you want the single life we can do that..

@Siobhan I wouldn’t be either! Seems excessive!! Especially with little ones at home. Maybe when they’re older? I took this post as a response to mine and maybe they misspoke on twice a week because I had said 2 times in the last two weeks.. but I could just be sensitive rn because my husband is currently mad at me 🥲🥲

@Storm ok. So like I 100000% trust my husband and honestly would never jump to this BUT last night when he came home, I explained why I was upset like that he said he’d be home to help and wasnt.. and he went off on me saying I was treating him like he was out cheating..? Like what?? Sir.. that’s bs! Like no that never crossed my mind until YOU said it bud.

Exactly he snitched on himself sis get a babysitter and follow that man

Seems a bit coincidental… yeh exactly when they are a bit more independent it wouldn’t be so bad but when you have three this young it’s not fair at all. Maybe you should go out and no get home till after bedtime and maybe he will appreciate it a bit more

@Siobhan I felt like it was too coincidental to not be a spin on my post. It’s just a bit gross to me to make a post like that with false info trying to make a burnt out mom seem like the bad guy. Just makes me feel like crap seeing when I’m already struggling and dealing with a lot.

Yeh exactly unfortunately I have found a lot of that with this group people don’t really support each other very much. Theres having an opinion then theres going out of your way to put down someone.

@SquishyMommy1 You would’ve stayed out later?? Wow… does your wife know you have her phone making these little stinky comments stinking up this section??☺️

@Ms.Marie🕸️ wife? I have a husband. And yes I absolutely would have stayed out later if my husband cared this much and had an issue with me going out infrequently with coworkers.

@SquishyMommy1 I tried to give the benefit of the doubt. I thought maybe your husband had your phone but ok welp everyone handles things very very differently. Though, if I loved my partner like I claimed I did..I wouldn’t do that to them. Breaks are healthy but it becomes unhealthy when you put it all on your partner especially without proper communication and when you find yourself stuck with the kids on a night you really wanted to go out then it’ll be an “oh well” moment from your partner. Idk I’m glad I’m single, there are people out here claiming they love their partners but intentionally putting them thru hell when its literally not needed

@Ms.Marie🕸️ except that he isn’t. 1 night in 2 weeks is not unhealthy. And clearly he was home at a reasonable hour. Just not when *she* wanted him home. THAT is unhealthy. Giving an adult spouse a curfew. When clearly he’s a pretty reasonable guy who came home at 9. 2 weeks ago. Having to put your kids to bed by yourself for 1 night in a fortnight so your spouse can have a night out and then being pissed about it. Is unreasonable 🤷🏼‍♀️

@SquishyMommy1 No.. from 2-9, 2 weeks ago. The break itself wasnt the issue. There wasn’t a curfew, im sure bedtime is a routine which he is well aware of. If you can’t make it, say something. If she’s taking care of 3 kids alone the whole day…where is her break? It’s a full time job with no breaks or off days, I wouldn’t be too happy either with the lack of communication. It also looks like a pattern is reoccurring which she made him aware to simply communicate with her THIS TIME. Expectations for men- boyfriends and husbands are LOW. It’s not rocket science.

OP honestly IF you have the money, go to the spa and get a massage, go get your hair or nails done, go to the gym or simply take yourself to see a movie or go out to eat whether it be alone or with friends if you aren’t already doing so. You don’t even have to spend money, you can just go somewhere that doesn’t require. Get your breaks in for yourself and you can expect a natural reaction from him but the best one will be when the time of your breaks aren’t convenient for him anymore. 🤷🏽‍♀️

@Ms.Marie🕸️ I was a SAHM for 21 years. If she needs a break. She should take one. There was a curfew. Which as a grown adult I would absolutely think is nonsense. And I would have given my husband the proverbially finger if he ever tried to impose one.

@SquishyMommy1 I understand now. It’s basically “Fuck this curfew that’s actually my KIDS normal routine time that I am aware of and failed to communicate with my partner that I wouldn’t be there to help”. It’s healthy to communicate breaks and times because Y isn’t for YOU anymore, it’s for YALL. There’s more to think about than just yourself.

@Ms.Marie🕸️ I’ve been married for probably as long as you’ve been alive. I would also never presume to tell my husband he needs to be back at a certain time if he went out with coworkers once in a fortnight 🤷🏼‍♀️

@SquishyMommy1 Being married for 20+ years doesn’t automatically mean healthy…a lot of people are scared to be alone and single so they settle with a terrible relationship or marriage . There have been people married for 40yrs and are miserable but you personally didn’t ask this incognito question so If it works for you then fine but it’s not working for OP which is the most important thing here and it’s a problem

@Ms.Marie🕸️ we are happily married 🥰

@SquishyMommy1 is the perfect wife every man’s dream no wonder she’s been married 20+ years 🙄 When you lack communication that’s the disrespect if he was going to be late just say from the start. He could have come home at 6am at least she would have been prepared. Don’t say something and not follow through that’s my issue. If the kids were older then yes as they could probably sort themselves out but 3 young children all day on your own when you think you’ll have help by a certain time is where I can see the frustration. Agree with @Ms.Marie🕸️ go get yourself a few hours to yourself. Although I also get this is easier said than done.

Tbf to him, 2 nights in 2 weeks isn't a lot is it? Why don't you do the same? I would!

@Rebecca I can’t. I’m exclusively breastfeeding my 4 month old. This post is not mad that he’s gone out twice in two weeks. It’s that we agreed on something and figured out a plan for him to go out and still be home to help with our 3 very small children and he didn’t follow through and then got mad at me. I’ve said over and over I didn’t care he went out. I cared that he didn’t do what we decided together and made my life harder again after discussing it. Bedtime is very much a team effort in our house at the moment with our kids ages and sleep.

@SquishyMommy1 just taking a break when ever I need one is not a thing. You must have had plenty of help. I’m happy for you with that! I get no breaks even though I’d love one. I have very small children and doing whatever I want when I want is not what life is at this stage. Again. I was never mad that he went out or honestly even for how long. I was upset, because we agreed on him being home for bedtime since that is a team effort in our house at the moment and incredibly difficult alone, and he did not do that AGAIN. That is what I was upset about. You twisting what I said to make me seem awful is truly mind blowing. As a stay at home mother of 21 years you should more than anyone understand how tiring and draining it is and want to lift other mothers up rather than what you are doing. I don’t want a petty/ selfish relationship like it seems like you must have if you will just “stay out longer” if your spouse is saying they need you, just to spite them.