Opinions?

Dad: • WFH Mon-fri 8:30am-5pm • Cooking is split 50/50 • Picks up toys etc in the evening 4 nights a week Mum: • Works 4 nights a week; 8:30pm-6:30am • Does all family washing, drying and putting away • Does all the washing up & cleaning kitchen • Does all mopping, hoovering, dusting • Cleans shower, bathroom and toilet (toilet is in a separate room) • Cooking is split 50/50 Mum has tried explaining that there is a big difference between tidying and cleaning as dad thinks he's 'cleaning' by picking up toys. Dad refuses to sit while weeing meaning there's constant splash back on the toilet lid and top of the toilet. Dad complains when his clothes aren't clean. Mum wants dad to be responsible for his own washing and wants him to be responsible for cleaning the toilet room, dad is refusing.

Show your support

Also forgot to mention in case it's relevant, care of child is pretty 50/50 and bills/mortgage are split 50/50. Mum agreed to be responsible for the kitchen as originally dad agreed to do all the cooking. Cooking is now 50/50 but mum is still the only one responsible for cleaning and washing up.

Has he seen this list?? Because just looking at it for like 10 seconds it seems pretty clear it’s not equitable at all. The fact he’s refusing is also enraging to me, as your partner he should want to make your life better not just have a tantrum like a toddler. I would probably approach it from a view of reviewing the tasks you both perform to make sure it’s equitable because you’re feeling overwhelmed. If that’s something he won’t entertain I would certainly stop doing his laundry and would probably reconsider the future of the relationship.

The healthiest way would probably to have a sit down conversation where you both input all the things that need to be done in the house and divide it up. What I'm hearing you say is you want him to do the bare minimum of cleaning up after himself. Cooking half the time and picking up toys is just not starving and tripping.

I don’t think it’s an opinion that matters. Although mum does do more, if you’re not happy with that or feeling burnt out you should 100% voice your opinion and have a conversation. Maybe might best to write a rota of exactly what needs to be done and who can do what on each day? Me and my partner pay bills 50/50 and childcare will be 50/50 when I go back to work etc. but I’m happier to do more of the cleaning BUT if something needs to be done, I will ask him to do it and he does x

Don't do it......

This list makes me laugh… but it’s not funny the list is very unfair when both parents work but only one takes care of all the responsibilities is very dumb.. if the man Dosnt want to do his part then there’s the door because you have tried to explain and he hasn’t listened or tried to help then you need to help yourself and lose the exact baggage’s. And stop doing everything for him I mean cooking clean laundry only do it for your baby and you.

I feel you!

I think first write a list and show and then split fairly If he refuses then I’d just stop doing his laundry and do mine and the kids. He can complain all he likes

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