MlL

Everyone needs to make an effort It isn’t always on you and your partner but it also isn’t always on grandparents either :)

I say this about any relationship - it works both ways. You can’t be pissed she’s not making the effort, if you aren’t either.

I agree with above comment especially if it’s only ten minutes

Ok I should have added since baby been born I haven't been well i even been in hospital for a couple of weeks and my partner been suffering with postnatal depression also every time we seen her she moans about something and upset my partner

Well I’m breastfeeding and you know how breastfeeding babies are, they want milk every 2-3 hours so for me I find it comfortable to be in my own home, I’m not comfortable being around them feeding the baby at the same time having a conversation with them, I think it’s too much right now for me and for my 4 month old baby. I like peace🤣 I want this time to be just for me and my baby, no other interaction. Maybe I’m wrong but this is how I feel, and this is why her words don’t make me feel angry or some kind of way 🤣

I think other people should find the time for you and your baby more than you should find the time for them ❤️

She doesn’t know where you live? If she can go to the shops she can come to visit. I think when babies are young visitors usually come to you, not the other way around

@Erina exactly, especially when they’re small. Nothing has changed in their lives, everything has changed in your life. While babies are small I think most people understand that they come to you to see the baby

@Irita I agree. When the babies grow up then they can go more often to the grandparents.

@Irita she does no were we live she's even gone passed our house to drop relatives off but not pop in on her way back

@Erina I'm also breastfeeding and don't feel comfortable doing it in front of men

Sounds like she’s just looking for something to moan about. Can’t be moaning about not seeing your baby when she hadn’t reached out to ask if she can visit 😝🤷‍♀️

Repeat after me “it’s not my job to make people have a relationship with my child. If they wanted too they would”

@Jolo Love this hahaha

That’s annoying especially since she lives so close is maybe she waiting for you guys to invite her or tell her she can come? My daughters grandmother expects me to go to her house and I don’t drive. Public transportation is 50 minutes and it’s cold out ppl really are lazy and have no consideration

To me, you have a little baby at home you shouldn’t have to be chasing after her, if she is as interested in seeing your child she’d make the effort to come visit them and she should be regularly asking you how they’re doing at the very least. It’s not up to you to create a bond between your child and their grandparent, if she wanted to she would be at your house visiting.

Does she call you and ask you to visit ? Or just complaining in supermarkets?

@Erina 100% agree like your focus as a parent is on your child not on people who cba to make effort themselves. I used to send updates to lots of people I thought would care and I stopped. None of them bothered to ask about my daughter since.. so its not worth your time! Id take her comment with a pinch of salt and do nothing differently she knows where you are

For me I’m not taking my baby (4 months old) anywhere to meet people, if they care enough and are physically capable then they should come to us!

@Kelly she's asked to come see her once but didn't come because she had a headache but never rearrange

@Alina she's not waiting to be invited she will ask/turn up in the past

I think both should make the effort I know it’s hard when they are young but it works two ways sadly xx

Personally, if I'm not wanting to put in the effort to see others I wouldn't complain they don't see me. Works both ways

@Sophie before I had baby we was the ones making all the effort we lived it our previous place 4 years she visited us twice

Raising a child is hard work enough, especially if you’ve been unwell and your partner has depression without the worry of “having to make an effort” with people. Yes it works both ways but when your plate is full it would be nice for her to take the responsibility rather than moan about it. X

My thought process is "if someone wants to be in my child's life, they will make the effort" and "it's not up to a child to ensure they see adult relations" I will visit family who visit us though!

Leaving the house with a baby is a hassle; it’s easier for her to come to you.

Absolutely she should. However she’s also probably of that generation that the parents are always right and they do no wrong no matter how manipulative that are. 🙄

I think it could be a mix of visiting each other. At the beginning I was not going out at all, and if my in laws or anyone wanted to see my baby, they needed to come to us. Specially during the first 6 weeks because I was recovering. Now we do a mix, and I prefer go there more than having them over so I don’t have to host. But I can definitely understand your point because she’s trying to be the center of attention

Sounds like my mother in law. We stopped putting in the effort as it’s a two way street. She does the same to our oldest (5). Always comment on my post on how much she loves them, misses them, ect,. but doesn’t put in the time to call them, ask about them and/or put in the effort to see them. We live 20 minutes away from her. Most times, we only visit/see her because she needs something from my husband (fix her car).