Nigerian/African mums
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I’m not Nigerian but Im my culture it’s heavily pushed for baby not to be held too much. You will find every aunty screaming at you for holding your baby. At the end of the day your their mum you what’s best. Babies cry for different reasons. Take the advice and do what you need to do.
I'm not Nigerian but please remember your baby has been inside you for 9 months, next to your warmth and listening to your heartbeat. At this age it is absolutely not important to worry about holding them too much. Enjoy your cuddles and embrace them whilst they last because this is just a phase and before you know it it'll pass x
I’m Ghanaian and my husband is Nigerian we just do what is best for bubba. It’s funny because my mum would say let him cry sometimes but when she’s here she can’t take him crying for 10seconds!!! There will be a lot of opinions but you just have to do what’s best for you and baby
This may be more of a generational thing than a cultural thing. 20-40 years ago letting babies cry it out was seen as the done thing
Go with your maternal instinct, my children's father is Ghanian and everyone said you need a wrapper (carry baby on your back). I never did I'm British it wasn't the culture for me I just responded to my baby, if they needed holding, feeding etc. my daughter I held continuously and opted to baby carry in a conventional frontal baby carrier, which was so physically and mentally draining. Whereas my son's I practiced attending to their need and placing them down which resulted in them being to self soothe and happy to play and coo independently. It's down to the child, don't let cultural ideologies take president one size does not fit all where babies are concerned.
Thank you all. I'm terms of clinginess of a baby. How is baby carrying on the back less clingy? Is what i dont get? The baby is still not lying on their own, taking in the day independently. I have asked my partner this but he doesn't know and I feel most men, him included, think their own mothers are the best and only example for great mothering and it's kind of bugging me as feels invalidating to me.
Tell him that. Follow your instincts as a mum, and not being funny but boomer generation in general are not known for being the most hands on parents so I’d take any kind of advice that doesn’t feel right to you either a pinch of salt. Also let your husband know you want to follow your own way of parenting and your own intuition
Less clingy I don't think it applies you're essentially baby wearing and if you run with that notion, abundance of articles state it does not make a child clingy
@Amy @irita yes, i think this too. It was more of an essential thing too with the absence of maternity leave or having other kids to attend to etc but I don't think it's best practice when you do have time on your hands to provide attention and comfort to your baby. And we know more now about when a baby is receptive to routine training. I'm happy to try later at say 3 months when she knows a bit more and has adjusted to being in the world. I'll only ever have this one baby and tbh I like cuddling her so don't want her always out of my arms and I really think she's pretty good at not needing to be held all the time. It's just frustrating as it's becoming an issue between us
@Anita exactly my thoughts. It's the same thing just a different approach, they are still wanting your warmth and to be on you
My mil is Nigerian, and as someone has already said, this is more of a generational thing and not particularly cultural. I take it you're not raising your child in Nigeria, so thing will be done differently in that regard as well x
Not Nigerian, but my MIL is Tunisian and she gives a LOT of strange/ dangerous advices. Like hurting my baby with a needle when I will want to stop breastfeeding. Like give honey to newborn. Like stop breastfeeding asap because he will too much attached the longer I breastfeed. … Don’t listen to anyone except your guts and the studies ! Studies says that before 6mo best is to hold your baby as soon as he cries because he just needs it and crying is his only way to express himself ! Nowadays, information is easier to find and there are a lot of studies to help to know what is best : I feel like sometimes our parents have trouble to understand that there are facts and doing the family/culture tradition is not always the best ..
You don’t make a baby clingy they either are or arent it’s their personality. But at 1 month old they definitely don’t cry for nothing. You do what you think it’s right for your baby, we have mother instincts for a reason
Babies/kids don’t become more independent from being left to cry. They become independent by having a secure attachment with their parents and confidence that they won’t be left alone. There’s no such thing as independent newborn, you’re still in the 4th trimester, they think they’re a part of you. Leaving then to cry won’t make them independent, it will make them feel like none is there to conform them so they’ll cry less but not for a good reason. Hold the baby as much as you can, they grow so quick, you’ll never regret holding them too much