Partner

It's definitely no fun going through the pp hormones but I feel like I would have the same reaction, even worse. Why would he even engage in conversation with her? And like you said it clearly wasnt a mistake if it happened more than once, I don't think it's a mistake the one time tbh. I would make sure like she's actually blocked and deleted then start moving toward letting it go but it's definitely not something I would just forget

@Brianna he said they were good friends, which is fine. But you overstepped the line by sleeping with her. It's genuinely not the fact they even slept together it's the fact hes lied and made out how big of a mistake it was and how ashamed yet he slept with her more than once... im hurt and now I can't even talk about it

Exactly so he clearly wasn't that ashamed of it. Want me to fight him?

@Brianna haha it just makes me feel sick. It's the same feeling as someone cheating?

That is cheating, he did cheat, that's why it feels like that. The act itself plus the hiding of it, plus the doing it more than once, Plus talking to her again, All of it.

And full disclosure, seeing as he made it so abundantly clear that it was just " a mistake" and he's "ashamed" of it, he wouldn't put you in a position to feel like that

If he respected and cared about you, that friendship would’ve ended immediately after the friendship lines were crossed. Continuing to be friends with somebody, especially having had sex with this person more than once is like rubbing salt in the wounds.

I would tell him he straight up should have blocked her the moment she messaged back. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t stay in contact with anyone I’ve been intimate with, even kissed when I’m in relationship because I’m happy in my relationship and I know that those that do tend to try come back to be “friends” as they have when I’ve not been in a relationship, are after more than friends. Some people can’t let go and she has got a serious case of that. He should say “I’m in a secure relationship, I love my partner and I’m not willing to throw that all away because there isn’t anything between us anymore.” If they have nothing and it’s not a big deal then he should get rid of her. You should be able to feel comfortable and safe in your relationship and him lying to you is a major red flag that he’s more than comfortable with her contacting him. Even if his replies are fine, he should have never lied to you. That’s the ultimatum I would put forward.

I would leave honestly.

I have never stayed in contact with anyone I have been intimate with out of respect for my partner. The odd thing is ive said something about a friend who is kind of in the same situation and he can see how wrong it is for them but he doesnt see how the situation with her is the same? I'm incredibly hurt and I honestly don't know how I can move passed the lie.

Don't move past it, hold him accountable and stand on it. What he did wasn't right, and if he can see the faults in others and not his own, he's just a hypocritical c***

@Brianna honestly when he was saying how wrong this person was I was gobsmacked. I'm like your literally the biggest hypocrite lol how can you say someone else is wrong when you've done exactly the same? His response was that he doesn't have anything towards this girl and it was genuinely a mistake. I again said to him, a mistake is something that happens once, happening more than that is not a mistake. If a cooker is on and you put your hand in it and it burns, you don't then a couple of days later do it again...

id be fuming that he’s responding

@Charlie ye, I just can't move forward with it!